Testimony of Elgin High teacher Carolyn Gilberts

The crime that was inflicted on me has affected me both physically and emotionally.

I was stabbed numerous times in the neck, head, right eyebrow and eye. My scars on my neck and head itch and irritate me a lot. My eyebrow bone was stabbed and always hurts. My doctor told me that it would probably hurt for at least a year.

My right eye was damaged beyond repair so I now wear a prosthetic eye. I am constantly aware of my prosthetic eye since it bothers me so much. So much that I have to go to bed rather early. The prescription in my good eye has gotten worse so I have to wear glasses all the time now. I do a lot of reading, but it is sometimes a challenge.

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I am constantly going to the eye surgeon or my ocularist appointments. I am having allergic reactions to most of the eye drops they are having me try and I will have to have another surgery for my eye in six months or a year from now. That will make three surgeries I have had to endure for my right eye.

For more than three months my balance was bad when I walked. It is better now but every once in a while I get off balance from having no depth perception. Another problem is my ability to drive. I have started driving recently during the day, but I can't drive at night, my vision is too bad. I now have to go back to the eye doctor and hopefully get glasses to help me drive at night and read better.

Emotionally I went from being a very independent person to a dependent one. I couldn't take care of my eye, walk well, cook, clean, drive or work. All of my family is from out of state. They took turns taking off work and taking care of me for the first month. Since then I've had a good friend who has taken good care of me.

I am a single mother with two teenage daughters who were emotionally distraught over this incident. I'm supposed to be taking care of my daughters not the other way around.

My carefree attitude has changed. My sense of safety has been affected. I always find myself looking behind me. I haven't slept through the night since the attack and I have a lot of nightmares.

I have problems looking at and handling serrated kitchen knives when I'm cooking or eating. I'm in counseling to try to retain that sense of safety and my assumptions of people.

Angel took me away from a job I cherished for the past six months and even though I can't wait to go back in the fall I'm very apprehensive about the return.

The attack on me was senseless. I never gave Angel a failing grade or said anything derogatory toward him. But that didn't stop him from stabbing me and saying he's sorry the whole time.

My stabbing was his third attack within six months. His behavior is getting progressively worse. I lost some of my naivetÃcirc;© about people basically being good. I only saw the good in Angel along with some other teachers. He fooled us all. He knows that if he approached us teachers, social workers or school psychologist we would do everything we could to help him and his home situation. But instead he planned my stabbing to get his parents attention.

So my big question is how will the court know if he fooling his therapist like everyone else. It is always in the back of my mind that he is going to come after me when he gets out.

I know that he is a juvenile and being a high school teacher I would be the first to have an open mind and heart. But I don't think a little slap on the wrist will help any of our situations. I'm seriously worried that he will complete what he started with me and kill someone.

Carolyn Gilberts