It's relatively simple to plan a family reunion

Last week I received an invitation to a birthday party for my dear old Aunt Dorothy, who will be turning 97.

First cousins, second cousins, third cousins and something called once or twice removed will all gather in Lansing, Mich., for the gala affair. Thirty of us, ranging in age from a 6-month-old girl to the grande dame herself, will be staying in a motel on the edge of town.

Ever since I was able to say, "An Dada," she's been my favorite relative, so I wouldn't miss it for anything. But I'm wondering about the plans. My cousins haven't thought much past the cake and ice cream. And with this size crowd, it takes some serious planning -- and I've heard some serious grumblings.

One cousin, who lives in Bangor, Maine, plans to fly with his two children to the bash. He jokingly says he might need to sell one of them to pay for the airfare.

A niece from California wonders how she will entertain her 2-year-old for three days with only a strip mall within walking distance.

And a great-nephew, a junior at the University of Indiana, wonders what's planned for the evenings.

According to travel agent Judy Barr, family reunions have become big business. But because clans rarely stay put these days, many find themselves winging it to the event, and the annual ice-cream social at the city park no longer cuts it. So if you're planning to bring the whole family together this summer, here are a few things to consider:

• Make it easy. If some guests will be traveling long distances, a destination near a major airport might be the ticket. If the numbers are large enough, some airlines will offer a discounted price.

When Barr organized a trip to the wine country in California for a large Midwestern family, she arranged a charter flight from Chicago to Oakland, Calif.

• Make it spacious. If you're trying to reel in all the relatives, a motel room in a strip mall might not be your best bait. But a group of cabins on the ocean might hook them. And again, if it's a large group you might get a group discount.

The Cowden family, who number nearly 40 and are spread throughout the Midwest, gather the troops and spend a week at a different location each year. Their annual reunion has taken them to such places as the Outer Banks, N.C., Jackson Hole, Wyo, and Mackinac Island, Mich.

Grandpa John finds scenic spots with cabins or condominiums that include kitchenettes. The families of each of his seven children have their own units where they can fix their own breakfasts and lunches. The whole family meets for evening meals.

• Make it interesting. There are still many of the down-home variety of reunions where the clan meets on the old homestead and dine on burgers, brats and home-made ice cream. They spend a few hours with people who seem to have the same eyes and noses and then drive home. But when people travel long distances for an extended visit, a piece of cake doesn't cut it.

Choose a spot that offers a variety of activities that appeal to all ages. Picnic grounds with swings and slides might be great for the 5-year old, but the teenager won't find it swinging.

A reunion doesn't have to break the bank to ensure great memories. Whether you gather on a Caribbean island or in your own backyard, bringing a family together is what it's all about. But by putting in the extra time you can turn an affair into an affair to remember without meeting at the top of the Empire State Building.

Gail Todd, a free-lance writer,worked as a flight attendant for more than 30years. She can be reached via e-mail at gailtodd@aol.com.