What would life in Gov. Antoin Rezko's Illinois be like?

If the formerly mustachioed Antoin "Tony" Rezko had actually been elected governor of Illinois instead of merely ascending to the post of faux governor as federal prosecutors believe, life would be so much easier right now in Springfield.

You see, under an administration of Illinois Gov. Rezko (R/D-Ionia) there would be no need for the president of the state Senate to demand a pay raise.

Legislative salary increases would be, you might say, "in the bag" during a Rezko reign. You remember the cost-of-living increases that we all once enjoyed in days of yore? Well if the cost of a legislative necessity were to skyrocket, say the menu price of a double Kobe filet at Gibson's, our elected representatives shouldn't have to eat the increase, should they?

Presto! Under a Gov. Rezko administration, members of the General Assembly would simply find their pay raise in the bag… perhaps stacks of cash left in one of those fine lizard briefcases favored by downstate lawmakers or in a lunch bag tossed over senators' transoms. (They still have transoms in the capitol so incentive packages and trousers from last night's half-off martini party will have a place to be thrown.)

Under a Rezko governorship, such a pay raise arrangement for our dedicated, elected public servants wouldn't take an act of Congress or even a vote by our congressional wannabes in the Land of Lincoln.

In some cases though, the instant raises could be given in Washington-style. Packages of crisp currency might just appear in the freezers of needy state reps, wrapped neatly in thick butcher paper, just like the $90,000 that once materialized in the fridge of a New Orleans congressman.

Anyway, if you must ask why our hardworking, elected state leaders require such a pay raise then you obviously didn't witness last week's tear-provoking public pleading of Senate President Emil Jones, a Chicago Democrat.

How demeaning it must have been for Sen. Jones to muster a dignified appearance as he stood in his threadbare business suit, begging for a raise.

"I need a pay raise," Jones preached to reporters in his best Rev. Wright voice.

And then just in case he wasn't heard or understood, he said it again exactly as before. "I need a pay raise."

Sen. Jones made that proclamation shortly after his Senate voted down a recall system that would allow unpopular, unresponsive politicians to be removed from office.

What Sen. Jones said about the pay raise and what he meant were probably two different things. I suspect what he meant was, "I need a real pay raise, not the measly one that we are scheduled to soon get automatically."

State lawmakers would receive a $7,000 annual pay raise, which was recommended by the Compensation Review Board. Leaders including Jones would see their pay jump from about $92,000 a year to more than $102,000 under the schedule.

Gov. Rod Blagojevich (D-Sunnyside Ave.) would see his pay increase from $171,000 to nearly $192,000.

To enjoy those raises, all the General Assembly and the governor have to do to is nothing. They have become very skilled at that lately and are likely to just let their raises take effect, for the second year in a row, by not voting them down.

But really, even though most people in Illinois probably aren't getting raises this year and I'll bet most didn't last year either, the increases that Sen. Jones, Speaker Madigan, Gov. Blagojevich and their minions are to receive amount to a pittance.

A governor named Rezko would seem to know real cash, where to find it and how to distribute it to the people who need it most: legislators.

But since Rezko is temporarily occupied in a federal position, I propose a compromise.

Let's pay state representatives a flat rate of $200,000 per year; state senators $250,000; leadership positions $300,000 and the governor $500,000.

But we would require something in return.

Passage of a recall amendment that would allow citizens to get rid of officials who become corrupt or inept.

Under such a law, recalled representatives would also have to repay their salary.

Wouldn't you be willing to pay more for quality people who you could fire if they screwed up?

It's called accountability.

In my dictionary that word comes before either pay or raise.