Appreciating the Bears first-round draft choice
It takes maturity to appreciate the Bears' first-round draft choice.
Most years a football fan would say, "An offensive lineman? They took a freakin" offensive lineman? What did they take in the second round, a librarian for the Halas Hall archives?"
The thrilling pick would have been Rashard Mendenhall, a local product from Niles West and the University of Illinois.
You know, a running back ... a leading man instead of a lead blocker... the guy who makes ESPN's highlights, endorses merchandise and gets the girl.
Instead the Bears selected Chris Williams you hardly heard of. He's an offensive tackle. He's the guy the fancy running back leaps over into end zone.
Seriously, what can an offensive lineman do for a football team besides win football games?
Heck, the most exciting thing to say about him is he has good feet. Not too sexy, is it? Have you ever gushed that Jessica Alba has good feet? Or even that the Nobel Prize winner in chemistry has good feet?
Better yet, have you ever heard that the winner of a writing Oscar or Emmy has good feet?
Me neither, but the guy who comes up with award-winning scripts is like the guy who comes up with game-breaking blocks.
You don't think much about either until he isn't around - like when Hollywood writers went on strike or Bears offensive linemen quit opening holes.
Great Hollywood productions begin with somebody on a computer spitting out words and great NFL offenses begin with somebody on the offensive line spitting out saliva.
If the Bears have great skill-position players and no blocking next season, they'd have no chance. With blocking and even Cedric Benson, they have a bit of a chance.
"Our No. 1 need was left tackle," Bears general manager Jerry Angelo said.
Angelo made the right pick - hopefully for the Bears the right player, too - as much as it pains me to acknowledge as much.
I have spent my entire life encouraging the Bears to draft the most entertaining player available.
Generally that's a quarterback, running back or wide receiver. Occasionally it's a defensive end or linebacker who can sack opposing quarterbacks.
Most appealing on paper is a blurry 40-yard-dash time, huge yardage numbers, star quality or perhaps all of the above.
Not as inspiring are the attributes Bears coach Lovie Smith attached to Williams: "Newlywed, from a great family, driven ... "
Er, we are talking about a football player and not a kindergarten teacher, right?
Heck, Angelo added that with Williams, "You're going to find him very gregarious as far as his personality."
Then Angelo provided the topper: "His position coach said he's the smartest player he's ever coached."
(Well, Williams did attend Vanderbilt, traditionally the Northwestern of the Southeastern Conference, which means the fear is he'll quit football to go to medical school.)
Anyway, Williams' qualities aren't as inspiring as if Angelo had said, "He dated Paris Hilton, was a finalist on 'Dancing with the Stars' and nearly got the role of Harold opposite Kumar.
Offensive linemen are more "Popular Mechanics" than "People," more sumo wrestling than "Dancing" and more "Iron Man" than Harold.
Ah, but thaey aren't very exciting until they help a team win a football game.
It takes some goofs like me too long to realize that.
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