'Harold and Kumar' dumbed down sequel
"Harold and Kumar Escape From Guantanamo Bay" could have been a crass political masterpiece, a shameless, twisted scatological satire raging against racial stereotypes, terrorist paranoia and the subversion of rights by a Bush-league government that denigrates smart people.
Instead, "Harold and Kumar" settles for being a dumbed-down, frat boy shock-a-thon crammed with cookie-tossing grossness, heart-stopping bottomless nudity, and Neil Patrick Harris reprising his role as his doped-up, hedonistic self from the 2004 cutting-edge comedy "Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle."
Jon Cho and Kal Penn return as Harold and Kumar, American 20-somethings of Korean and Indian descent, best pals constantly on the make for marijuana, Kumar more than Harold.
Instead of heading out to White Castle for a nosh, the guys jet to Amsterdam where weed is legal. But Kumar can't wait to show Harold his newly invented "smokeless bong."
A white woman who already suspects Kumar to be evil spots his device and screams "Terrorist!" Kumar says it's only a bong, which sounds close enough to "bomb" to land both guys at Guantanamo Bay in Cuba, along with other suspected subversives forced to perform homosexual acts upon slavering U.S. guards.
Harold and Kumar escape -- we'll skip the silly details -- and wind up in Florida. They head off on a cross-country quest to Texas where they'll ask Colton (Eric Winter), their politically connected friend and Republican larva, to clear up the misunderstanding with the government.
Kumar has an ulterior motive to go to Texas. Colton is scheduled to marry Kumar's former lover, Vanessa (Danneel Harris), and Kumar thinks that can be stopped.
During their riotous road trip across the U.S., Harold and Kumar embrace and poke fun at stereotypes of blacks, Jews, Arabs, inbred Southerners, Muslim extremists and racist security agents.
Dogging the duo's every move is government security chief Ron Fox, played by comedian Rob Corddry as an obsessed doofus who unabashedly commits one racial slur after another in the service of keeping America safe.
Harold and Kumar visit a house of prostitution with a sadistic Harris, fly in an airplane with corrupt federal agents, then -- in the film's coup de grace of gracelessness -- land in President Bush's sex den where the duo shares weed with the Prez (James Adomian).
"Harold and Kumar" marks the directorial debut of Jon Hurwitz and Hayden Schlossberg, who wrote "Go to White Castle." Left to their own overdone devices, they had no one to tell them to take up the narrative slack, simplify the plot or hammer the political points home with the force of a nail gun.
Scenes ramble. The movie runs way too long and neither director knew how to tighten it up. (Hint: stupid parts can be forgiven if funny; stupid parts that aren't funny can't.)
Nonetheless, "Escape From Guantanamo Bay" is the boldest, baddest comedy I've seen so far this year.
It will undoubtedly connect with its target audience of young people who appreciate its blunt, unpretentious humor.
When Fox wipes himself with the Bill of Rights, he already pushes the outside of the envelope. But Kumar and Vanessa enjoying a menage-a-trois with a giant marijuana bag equipped with anatomically correct female parts?
It's beyond PC.
It's P-culiar.
"Harold and Kumar Escape From Guantanamo Bay"
2½ stars
Starring: John Cho, Kal Penn, Rob Corddry, Neil Patrick Harris
Written and directed by: Jon Hurwitz and Hayden Schlossberg
Other: A New Line Cinema release. Rated R for drug use, language, nudity, sexual situations. 102 minutes.