Why don't we just ban everything?
I have been enjoying reading the letters posted in the Fence Post regarding banning outdoor fire pits and wood burning fireplaces and such.
I wanted to point out something important that some of you are missing.
Perhaps we should ban outdoor grilling (both gas and charcoal) now that we are finally starting to enjoy temperatures that allow us to have our windows open and to do things outside.
Honestly, could there be anything more offensive than the scent of grilling burgers, hot dogs, steaks, etc. wafting through the neighborhood or at a family picnic on a sunny afternoon?
That probably offends not only the sensibilities of people who want to enjoy 100 percent smoke- and scent-free air, but also those who are vegetarians or members of PETA.
While we're at it, I would like to propose a ban on flowers. I have seasonal allergies and the pollen of those crocuses, daffodils and tulips that are beginning to bloom is really bothering me and thousands of others who suffer from allergies.
Not to mention their bright and cheerful colors hurt my eyes first thing in the morning.
This brings me to my final complaint. Every year during spring and summer , my family and I are frequently awakened at approximately 4:30 a.m. by the loud singing of a robin perched on our roof greeting the day.
Perhaps we should ban birds, especially migratory birds because their musical, boisterous singing and calling to each other surely awakens others and might be violating a village noise ordinance.
Thanks to Al Gore we know that the gasses created by heating our homes, enjoying an evening by the fire pit with family and friends and cooking outdoors are putting pollutants into the air.
The photosynthesis of the flowers and the hot air expelled by the birds singing is probably raising temperatures further contributing to global warming.
To be on the safe side, let's ban everything that might be offensive to anyone, anywhere, so as to make sure we are not discriminating against anyone.
Sarah Fallon
Palatine