Urlacher rumors reach ridiculous levels

If you're not in the market for Brian Urlacher rumors, then you had better not pick up the papers for the next four months.

Until Sept. 7 at 7:15 p.m., when the Bears kick off the 2008 season against the Colts, anything is possible and everything will be fired up against the walls at Halas Hall.

If Urlacher is on the field that night, and in a Bears uniform, you'll have your answer.

But until that coin toss, the Bears will be exploring their options and they'll not be giving you anything close to the truth if their lips are moving.

The reality is they have to do absolutely nothing.

They don't have to talk to Urlacher. They don't have to extend his contract. They don't have to trade him. And they don't have to pay him if he doesn't show up for the games.

So, he will show up for the games, because there's a better chance of Urlacher running for president than there is of him retiring this year.

On a scale of 1 to 10, Urlacher's leverage in this "negotiation" is a minus-4.

The best thing the Bears can do is trade Urlacher and grab piles of players and picks in the process, but they won't give him away, and they won't be forced into doing anything by Urlacher, his agent, or any media carrying Urlacher's water for him.

The Bears are very likely testing the waters to see what's out there. In fact, they'd be fools not to dip their toes in and get a feel for the market -- if there is one.

And the faster they get down to the business of moving him, the better for everyone involved.

But there's no evidence to suggest at this moment that anything's on the verge of occurring, or that the Bears have spoken to a single team about No. 54.

So get used to hearing crazy rumors about Brian Urlacher forcing a trade, forcing retirement or forcing the Bears to cancel practice. The only thing he can force is a fumble.

The rumors won't go away. That's the bad news.

The good news is there's only 20 weeks until the opener.