Bulls' coaching search can start with these names

As the noted poet, Sam Kinison, used to ask, "When do we hit rock bottom?"

In the case of the Bulls, it's when an e-mail informs you the club has been bumped off Comcast SportsNet for the final game of the season, and shuffled off to the infernal region of Comcast SportsNet Plus.

That, in the world of GM John Paxson, is rock bottom.

The Bulls thought they might be locking up the Eastern Conference top seed Wednesday night when the contest first appeared on the schedule.

Instead, it's the used car you tried to sell in college just to pay the bills, but it was in such poor shape that the junkyard rejected it.

That's the Bulls today. No playoffs, no conference finals, no Kevin Garnett, no Kobe Bryant.

No regular sports channel.

Not even a coach.

The 2008-09 season begins right now as Paxson searches for new leadership, a decision he ought to make before he tries fixing the roster.

All the retreads presently being discussed because Paxson presumably wants head coaching experience, offer little change from the last control freak, Scott Skiles, the taskmaster whom the players tuned out by the time his second season here was complete.

What the Bulls need now is a man the players will listen to and respect, while they offer him an honest effort.

That is possible. There is a middle of the road down which players can travel that allows them to both admire a coach who's not in their face, and play hard for him as well.

One example is the Sixers' Maurice Cheeks, a solid option if he were available, and Nets analyst Mark Jackson might make sense if he had any sort of coaching experience, but among the NBA assistants who do, here's a couple that fit the bill:

• Lakers assistant Brian Shaw was as much a coach on the floor as any player when he won rings playing for Phil Jackson in L.A., and working alongside the best coach in the game, you have to think Shaw is ready for his own gig after several years on the bench.

He was both respected and liked by teammates during his long NBA career, often serving as the go-between when there were issues with the coaching staff. Even Kobe Bryant likes Shaw, who once played pro ball with Bryant's father in Italy.

• Dallas assistant coach Mario Elie, an 11-year veteran who played in 116 playoff games and won three rings as a player with Houston and San Antonio, has four years of coaching on his resume. Teammates liked playing with him because he brought his game every night.

• Denver assistant Adrian Dantley's Hall of Fame playing career speaks for itself, but one of the premiere post players of all time has gone to work teaching Nuggets players to succeed inside. Sounds like the right guy for the Bulls in that regard.

He commands respect, and the fact that Isiah Thomas wanted him out of Detroit tells you he's a good guy. Dantley played hard and would expect his players to do the same.

Maybe with a little luck, the Bulls can stumble into the right guy for the first time in a very long time.

Seam stress

For the love of Jesus Figueroa, did you think there was any chance Alfonso Soriano would stay healthy this year?

Sure, about as much chance as there is of Aramis Ramirez staying healthy this year.

What you got in Soriano is $136 million worth of player who has no place in the order he can hit, and no place in the field he can play without butchering the ball or getting hurt.

And if you think the latest injury gives Lou Piniella a chance to move Soriano down in the order when he returns, well, you might be right.

But Soriano's not going to like it and he's not going to hit until he gets moved back up to the leadoff spot.

Getting on

Soriano or no Soriano, the Cubs have got to find a way to get Kosuke Fukudome into the first or second spot in the order so that he's on base for Derrek Lee.

Award winners

Foxsports.com named Kirk Hinrich the Most Deteriorated Player, while the Bulls were awarded Most Disappointing Team of 2007-08.

The line

After another interesting weekend of prep races, here are the updated odds for the 134th running of Kentucky Derby on May 3: Big Brown (3-1), Colonel John (6-1), Pyro (8-1), Monba (18-1), Gayego (18-1), War Pass (18-1), Tale of Ekati (20-1), Z Fortune (20-1), Court Vision (25-1) and Z Humor (30-1).

The quote

Mavs owner Mark Cuban on a Sonics move to Oklahoma City: "My prejudice is against there being a Dust Bowl division. I don't think that helps the NBA. I think big markets help the NBA.''

Best headline

Sportspickle.com: "Tiger Woods still without a win in major when trailing after 72 holes."

And finally ...

Mike Lupica of the New York Daily News: "Do you suppose that even the money grabbers at the International Olympic Committee are starting to figure out that it's not going to be quite as easy as they thought to convince the world that China is about as cool a place to live as La Jolla?''