The new fall TV shows -- or are they?
Happy April Fools' Day, Aware One. As a regular reader of Your Friendly Neighborhood TV Critic, you can't fall prey to something sneaky creeping on you, can you? No, you were born alert and have been growing more savvy ever since.
So I dare you, right out, to play a fair and square game of Pilot Error.
That's right, as loyal readers well know, April 1 falls in the midst of what's called "pilot season" in the TV industry, when the major networks are developing new shows for their fall prime-time schedules, to be released in about six weeks. Which makes today's holiday suitable for my purposes as I take 10 ideas for new shows and mix them with 10 of my own devising and challenge you to tell the difference.
Now, the 100 days' war that was the Hollywood writers' strike has shortened and altered pilot season this year. The networks haven't had time to develop as many of the usual loony, loopy ideas they tend to come up with. In fact, they've gone straight ahead and committed to many shows without even shooting a pilot episode. No doubt you'll have already read about some of the shows I'm about to describe.
But that's all right. I'll spot you that advantage this year. Because, as ever, Your Friendly Neighborhood TV Critic believes he can come up with better shows than your average TV executive.
So I double dog dare ya: Separate the real shows from the fakes in the 20 below. The answers are at the end. But use a pen or pencil. I know all about that trick of peeking at the next answer while checking, and like I said I want this to be on the up and up. So let the game begin.
1) "Britney: Certifiable": Emboldened by her hit guest spot on "How I Met Your Mother," CBS casts Britney Spears in a comedy about a bipolar pop star trying to get her career back on track. Roseanne Barr returns to series TV to play her mother, with Robert Urich as her estranged father. Howard Hesseman is her physician, Dr. Johnny Feelgood.
2) "Kath and Kim": Molly Shannon and Selma Blair are a dysfunctional mother and daughter with their respective "hunks of spunk" in NBC's new version of the crass Australian comedy. Judd Apatow protégé Paul Feig directs the pilot.
3) "Spenser": Edward Burns creates a younger, even more Bostonian version of Robert B. Parker's private eye for NBC, with Michael Kenneth Williams, better known as Omar the Terror from "The Wire," as an even more fearsome Hawk. Vera Farmiga of "The Departed" is Spenser's off-and-on lady lover, Susan.
4) "The Powers That Be": "Wire" alumna Sonja Sohn is an intrepid Treasury agent using computer records and surveillance to track down a corrupt, whore-mongering financier played by former "24" president Gregory Itzin in a new cop drama for Fox.
5) "Madame X": Charisma Carpenter heads a Manhattan call-girl ring trying to stay one step ahead of investigators Bill Nun and Dominic West, who has a soft spot for hookers himself, in a new drama for ABC.
6) "Robinson Crusoe": Daniel Defoe's 18th-century novel becomes a new British-produced series in a project NBC executive and show creator Ben Silverman calls "part 'MacGyver,' part contemporary morality tale about race and personal discovery, part comedy, and part 'Castaway' meets 'Survivor.'"
7) "Kings": NBC brings the Bible into the present day with a prime-time soap opera loosely based on the adventures of King David. The title "Absalom, Absalom!" was apparently taken.
8) "The Bleeding Heart Files": Former "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" star Sarah Michelle Gellar is a social worker with paranormal abilities in an eerie new drama for the CW.
9) "Dollhouse": Former apprentice slayer Eliza Dushku lives in a house where special agents have their minds wiped clean and new talents reprogrammed between assignments in a sci-fi series from "Buffy" creator Joss Whedon.
10) "Fringe": J.J. Abrams brings yet another weird, mysterious series to TV, this one about a brilliant if eccentric scientist, his estranged son and the femme fatale FBI agent who brings them together. Joshua Jackson, who played Pacey on "Dawson's Creek," has been signed to play the son.
11) "Rush to Judgment": Idris Elba, another "Wire" alum, is a confrontational (and, not coincidentally, black) defense attorney and former community organizer in a new legal drama from Dick Wolf. Blythe Danner is his courtroom adversary, District Attorney Rodham, and Fred Thompson returns to TV as Circuit Court Judge McCain.
12) "The Last Days of the Fourth Estate": Lauren Graham is a fast-talking Capitol Hill reporter dealing with diminished newspaper resources and battling bloggers while tracking political corruption in a new CBS series created by Darin Morgan and produced by Norman Lear. Oliver Platt plays House Speaker Eugenious Grant.
13) "The Philanthropist": "Homicide: Life on the Street" creators Tom Fontana and Barry Levinson go to New York City for a new NBC drama about a "rebel billionaire" who helps people in need -- no matter the risks involved.
14) "Exit 19": Geena Davis is a tough Manhattan homicide detective by day, a Long Island single mom by night in a new drama for CBS.
15) "Literary Superstar": Jenna Elfman is an ambitious book publicist who has to juggle eccentric clients and an active New York City social life in a new power-woman dramedy from Darren Star.
16) "Disturbia": The "High School Musical" cast steps up to the big time in an ABC series based on the feature film of the same title. Hat-sporting fop Lucas Grabeel is a troubled teen who specializes in amateur detective work, aided by his girlfriend, Ashley Tisdale, and his best pal, Corbin Bleu.
17) "The Goode Family": "King of the Hill" and "Beavis & Butt-head" creator Mike Judge makes a new satirical cartoon for ABC about a family obsessed with "doing the right thing" -- socially, environmentally, etc.
18) "The Pitts": Fox remakes its failed 2003 live-action sitcom about an ill-fated family as a prime-time cartoon, with Allison Janney and Dylan Baker giving voice to the parents.
19) "Don't Feed the Troll": Adam Brody is a computer nerd looking for love online in Silicone Valley in a new young-adult hourlong comedy for the CW. Alyssa Milano is the hottie who lives downstairs, a chesty Tomboy with a silicone valley of her own.
20) "Pearl": The foul-mouthed toddler from Will Ferrell's Web video "The Landlord" gets her own ABC comedy as a kid who says the darnedest things.
The real shows are 2, 6, 7, 9, 10, 13, 14, 15, 17 and 18.
In the air
Remotely interesting: WFLD Channel 32 has promoted Melinda Tichelaar to executive producer of its morning newscast "Good Day Chicago." Tichelaar previously served as senior producer of the show after coming to the station from KTVU-TV in the San Francisco Bay area.
Sen. John McCain visits CBS' "Late Show With David Letterman" at 10:35 p.m. today on WBBM Channel 2 … Sen. Barack Obama appears on "Hardball With Chris Matthews" on its "College Tour" at West Chester University of Pennsylvania at 4 p.m. Wednesday on MSNBC … The first season of "Father Knows Best" is out on video today -- and really, that has to be an April Fools' prank.
End of the dial: Clear Channel Communications has completed a deal with Thumplay to make format-appropriate ring tones, music videos, computer wallpaper and games available on its station Web sites. WGCI 107.5-FM, WLIT 93.9-FM, WNUA 95.5-FM, WVAZ 102.7-FM and WKSC 103.5-FM are all taking part.