'Drillbit Taylor' not so sharp
The slyest joke in Owen Wilson's new comedy "Drillbit Taylor" belongs strictly to movie trivia geeks.
When three high school freshmen interview potential bodyguards to protect them from upper-class bullies, one of the applicants bluntly tells them, "Bodyguards for students? That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard of."
The actor who says it? Chicago's own Adam Baldwin, the star of "My Bodyguard," the 1980 comedy where he played the title role, hired to protect a kid (Chris Makepeace) living at the Ambassador East Hotel from a nasty bully (Matt Dillon).
In "Drillbit Taylor," three students -- tubby Ryan (Troy Gentile), nerdy Wade (Nate Hartley) and super geeky Emmit (David Dorfman) -- hire Drillbit (Wilson), thinking he's a budget bodyguard and really cool. They don't know he's actually a homeless, AWOL American soldier desperate to turn a dollar, even from kids he can con.
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Weirdly enough, Drillbit might be a soldier, but for purposes of creating an artificial internal conflict, he hates violence and shuns confrontations. So he doesn't make an ideal bodyguard.
But he does pull off being a permanent substitute teacher at McKinley High, where Ryan, Wade and Emmit are routinely terrorized by the sadistic Filkins (Alex Frost) and his chortling henchboy Ronnie (Josh Peck).
Drillbit also finds an unexpected perk to subbing. A fetching English teacher named Lisa (the radiantly fun Leslie Mann) enjoys having frequent sex with him in Room 220.
This movie has all the ingredients of a ribald Judd Apatow production, co-written by Seth "Superbad" Rogen: hormonally explosive teen boys coping with nerdhood while avoiding embarrassing situations and dealing with girls, all wrapped up in tart sexual suggestiveness and toilet bowl humor.
Even though "Drillbit" has been produced by Apatow (director of the incredibly funny and raunchy comedies "The 40-Year-Old Virgin" and "Knocked Up"), he farmed the directing out to Steven "Without a Paddle" Brill.
Under Brill, jokes lose their comic snap, and he proves himself incapable of rendering characters who are as endearing as they are dopey, an Apatow calling card.
For a PG-13-rated teen comedy, "Drillbit Taylor" packs a lot of harsh, violent action with hitting and pushing, even a finger-slicing scene involving a Samurai sword. We're not talking the fun action of "Superbad," but mean violence tinged with a real sense of nastiness.
Brill compounds the film's inconsistent tone by under-cranking the comic crispness to where Rogen's script, written with Kristofor "Beavis and Butthead" Brown, feels as flat, parched and predictable as an Adam Sandler movie. Brill has directed two of them: "Mr. Deeds" and "Little Nicky."
At least give credit to Rogen and Brown for including two references to the 1971 indie sleeper "Billy Jack" and turning the ex-Green Beret protector of horses and children into a verb, as in "I'm going to Billy Jack your (tail)!"
It was tough to watch Wilson's performance, another variation of his hick hipster persona, without filtering it through memories of the actor's suicide attempt late last summer.
If Wilson had been suffering during the filming of "Drillbit," you'd never know it. His rendition of a down-on-his-luck slacker sparkles with Wilson's patented hayseed charm and twinkling eyes.
Here's to hoping he gets better. And gets back to making better movies.
"Drillbit Taylor"
1#189; stars
Starring: Owen Wilson, Nate Hartley, Troy Gentile, Alex Frost, Leslie Mann, David Dorfman.
Directed by: Steven Brill.
Other: A Paramount Pictures release. Rated PG-13 (language, drug and sexual references, partial nudity). 102 minutes.
'The Sound of Silent Film'
A 13-person orchestra plays original scores to several brand-new silent movies in this program from Accessible Contemporary Music, dedicated to bringing classical-based contemporary music to new audiences. $10 online or $12 at the door. B.T.W, it's B.Y.O.B., too! Go to www.acmusic.org or call (773) 278-1500.
7:30 p.m. Wednesday at the Chopin Theatre, 1541 W. Division St., Chicago
'Chop Shop'
Ramin Bahrani's drama centers on an ambitious Latino street orphan who works at a junkyard on the outskirts of Queens, N.Y. If you didn't know better, the landscape might look like a Third World country, not the alleged greatest city in the world. From the filmmaker who gave us the compelling "Man Push Cart." (773) 871-6604 or www.musicboxtheatre.com. No MPPA rating. 84 minutes.
Opens today at the Music Box in Chicago
'The Year My Parents Went on Vacation'
When his leftist parents are forced underground in 1970 Brazil, their son becomes part of a colorful family of religiously and politically diverse neighbors. This was Brazil's nominee for the Foreign Film Academy Award. In Portuguese, Yiddish and German. Not rated by the MPAA. 105 minutes.
Opens today at the Century Centre and River East 21 in Chicago and the Renaissance Place in Highland Park