A Central theme: Cubs will be fine
If it's March in Chicago, then it's time for Cubs fans to panic.
Whether it's this injury or that ailment, this surgery or that procedure, the batting order, the rotation, the closer, or even a trade that hasn't occurred, it's all enough to give the true sufferers just what they need to start working on an opening-day stomach ache.
So let's make this as simple and painless as possible: The Cubs will win the Central Division again in 2008.
There. Feel better?
Just as we told you all of last season -- especially when things looked as bleak as can be -- there's no way the Cubs can lose because of the punch line of a division in which they compete.
Yes, the Brewers will put up a fight again, but they won't run out to a big lead this year because of one major change: It's not going to take manager Lou Piniella 60 days into the season to figure out which pieces fit where, who needs to find the field, and who needs to sit.
In essence, it gives the club a four-month head start on 2007, when Piniella went through spring training, April and May before he began to figure out what a mess he had on his hands.
But Piniella straightened it out, and this year he's got time on his side. In fact, he's already tinkering and making adjustments, and when the Cubs finally complete those trades they've been working on, they should be in pretty good shape.
As if they needed more help, baseball made sure the Cubs faced Toronto and Baltimore this year, as do the Brewers.
But no Yanks are on the docket, and while the Brewers get Boston, the Cubs get Tampa.
Now, if you really need something to be disturbed about, worry that the same players incapable of handling postseason baseball last year will perform the same way this time around, playing a style more suited to fantasy leagues than October.
The presence of Kosuke Fukudome should help, since he's adept at playing the game the right way at all times of year, and the National League still seems to be wide open.
Even though the Mets get all the attention, they'll need a healthy Pedro Martinez, Carlos Beltran and Carlos Delgado to find the postseason.
The team to fear, it says here, is the same one that took the Cubs out in October, the Diamondbacks. They're young, hungry and talented, and should be better than they were last year, when they had a very solid club.
They added starter Dan Haren from Oakland to an already formidable rotation, and if Randy Johnson returns healthy and happy from back surgery, they could be downright scary.
But that's all seven months from now, when the pressure of breaking a 99-year losing streak ought to build and really cause a migraine.
Until then, enjoy the baseball season, Cubs fans, because it should be a lot quieter than last year's minus Michael Barrett and a 22-31 start.
And, once again, it will include a Central Division title.
After that, you're on your own.
The good guy
Needless to say, our thoughts and prayers go out to former Cubs star Rick Sutcliffe, who was diagnosed with colon cancer recently during a routine physical.
The 51-year-old Sutcliffe hopes to be back in the ESPN booth late this summer after having surgery and undergoing chemotherapy.
I don't have to tell you that Sutcliffe is one of the most affable and happy guys you're ever going to meet in the game, and the ballparks around the country just won't be the same until he comes back healthy and hearty.
Hurry back, Sut.
The good cause
The Yankees will take their full lineup, complete with stars, to Virginia Tech on Tuesday to play an exhibition game against the Hokies, fulfilling a pledge they made 11 months ago after the shootings in Blacksburg.
The players also intend to visit an on-campus memorial if the logistics can be worked out in time.
Ivan Boldirev-ing
It was tough not to chuckle when the Blackhawks faxed a list of every available player to every team, two days before the trade deadline.
Not only did the Hawks then refuse to part with some of those players, but they also announced to the veterans on that list that they're not in the Hawks' plans.
Think some of those guys who already had character issues are going to play hard after that?
Those very expensive contracts, like the ones belonging to Martin Havlat and Nikolai Khabibulin, are going to be very hard to move, but the Hawks had better figure out a way to move them.
On the other hand, no one thought they could trade Adrian Aucoin last summer, and GM Dale Tallon managed to find a taker.
This just in …
Greg Cote of the Miami Herald: "The Heat have been invited to play exhibition games in London and Paris next fall, an indication that, in Great Britain and France, they don't run NBA standings.''
Lean and mean
ABC's Jimmy Kimmel: "Eliot Spitzer announced he needed to leave office to begin the difficult process of healing. Not emotional healing; his wife hit him in the face with a George Foreman grill.''
Tough choice
Cuban sports officials were stunned Thursday when seven soccer players deserted in Florida. That's all right, once they get a couple of days of the Democrats fighting over the Florida primary, they'll swim home.
Just in motion
How long before the Bears throw in a call to George Farmer?
And finally …
Mark Kriegel of foxsports.com: "Been reading up on Brett Favre's life and times. Seems he once needed 13 Vicodin to get through the Espy's. Big deal. I need that much just to watch it on TV.''
brozner@dailyherald.com