Call it nerd nirvana

Of all the duck-footed spatulas, electro-boogie robots, petri-dish science kits, Einstein-model action figures and skeleton-shaped mannequins, one of the most popular items sold via American Science & Surplus' Niles-based warehouse is … the dental pick: the shiny-silver metal stick that, according to one of American Science's many product descriptions, dentists use to "prick tiny bits of gunk from nasty places."

"Go figure," shrugs Philip Cable, the man who claims ownership to the 20,000-square-foot warehouse full of interesting odds, ends and overstock, to which he sells at three retail stores, including one in Geneva.

Strangely enough, it makes sense. Who else uses old, possibly used dental picks ("please don't use them for dental work," the description reads) besides artists, scientists and general archeological curiosity junkies. In other words, people who shop at American Science & Surplus.

"It's always fun to hear what people do with the merchandise," Cable says.

Truth be told, it wasn't enough for me to stop by the Geneva store, home to plenty of geektastic merch for all sides of the creative equation, which will likely keep any daytripper intrigued for hours at a time.

I wanted in on the mother lode, the main hub, the discreet if not completely blended-in headquarters on the far side of Niles' industrial district. I wanted a glimpse at the warehouse.

Though I'd entombed myself at the Milwaukee location as a kid (I was probably the only fifth-grader with a metallic-blue thermal pencil case), I expected this visit to elevate my nostalgia to downright exaltation.

Thankfully, American Science didn't disappoint. From the moment Cable and resident astronomer Paul Chapman -- yes, American Science has its own house astronomer! -- came out to greet me, I knew I had passed through the No. 2-pencil gates into nerd nirvana.

Now, keep in mind this place is generally hands-off to civilians. My pass inside wasn't some lifetime Charlie Bucket ticket into Wonkaland. That said, everything I witnessed here is readily available within any of American Science's stores, if not its ever-expanding Web site.

The site, by the way, is a story in and of itself. The kitschy, black-and-white pictures shown at sciplus.com are all hand-drawn by the same guy who drew them for American Science's catalog eons ago.

He even garnered fans. When American Science wanted to post color photos online, shoppers insisted on keeping the drawings. So they did.

The inside of American Science's main office looks like Doc Brown's garage if he'd had access to all of Cable and Chapman's random, cool stuff.

Open boxes of potential merchandise await "product testing" next to random minerals atop cubicles and various skeletons hanging around the conference room. Wait, is that a talking moose head mounted on the wall?

As a flying, screaming toy monkey slingshots through the air (they're technically called Screeching Monkey Superheroes, thank you very much), I suddenly realize why this business managed to stick around for more than 70 years: Simply, because it's fun. And because fun always attracts a market, even if this crazy, zany kind of hipster-artist fun comes sold in the shape of glow-in-the-dark skulls and Venetian blinds.

Cable and Chapman, at once super-focused business types and science-loving nerds who fell in love with American Science's stock at a very young age, try to contain their management cred while showing me through uber-organized aisles of some of the coolest stuff I'd seen up close. It's all they can do, it seems, to keep themselves from mulling through the bevy of boxes themselves.

Ever taken a look at a stoplight up close? (They're huge.) Well, how would you like to own one? (You can!) Cable and Chapman have 'em, a whole box of them, actually, sold to American Science from a city that wanted to switch out their lamps for LCD ones.

About 80 percent of the stores' overall stock accounts for other company's overstock, leftovers and un-usables that other people wanted to get rid of and American Science figured they could sell.

How about this one: A lens so powerful that sun reflected through it can melt a penny within seconds.

Chapman showed me his test pennies; they were darn near obliterated. Or an air bag -- without the steering wheel! (They sell the steering wheels, too, if you want them.) It's all there, packed into shelves and delivered from all over the country.

When I incredulously suggest the dynamic duo sell to "Mythbusters," Cable tells me they already do.

Remember the weather balloon experiment? That was American Science's stuff. They even once provided Martha Stewart with creepy haunted-house props for her yearly Halloween episodes. It's all in a day's work, Cable says.

"Customers have said we're (like) a flea market sponsored by Mensa."

You know what? He's right.

American Science & Surplus

33W361 Roosevelt Road/Route 38, 1/4 mile east of Kirk Road, Geneva, (630) 232-2882

sciplus.com

Hours: 10 a.m. to 7 p.m. Monday-Wednesday, Friday:

10 a.m. to 8 p.m. Thursday:

10 a.m. to 6 p.m. Saturday:

11 a.m. to 5 p.m. Sunday,

While you're there, try

Kiss the Sky

301 W. State St., Geneva

(630) 232-1888

Kissthesky.net

One of the 'burbs' mandatory record-store destinations, Kiss the Sky manages to seal its longtime CD-and-vinyl authority with the sale of such listening essentials as lava lamps, incense and stickers. Stay tuned for Record Store Day on April 19, when Kiss the Sky joins indie stores throughout the country to pay homage to record-store culture via live music, mega sales and overall "High Fidelity" camaraderie.

Nosh

211 James St., Geneva

(630) 845-1570

Who doesn't need a good, eclectic brunch after playing with science-approved toys all morning? Nosh, the hip breakfast/lunch joint run by two Geneva natives, boasts brunching's contemporary side with creative menu choices in a modern setting to boot. Belly up for hot chocolate French toast and Nosh's signature One-eyed Susan, grilled cheese set around a fried egg.

Fox Valley Winery

33 S. 3rd St., Geneva (630) 845-0404 foxvalleywinery.com

For a quick nip between American Science slinky testing, Fox Valley Winery offers wine tasting throughout the day as well as short tours of its backroom cellar. Nonexperts are especially welcome; expect to leave this branch of Fox Valley's west suburban stores knowing the color, texture and sweetness levels that are right for you. Or just browse the wine-chic gift shop till dinner time.