Officer shares anti-bully message

Most likely, you were one of three things when you were in school -- a victim, bully or bystander.

Did you get pushed out of your seat on the bus -- or did you do the pushing and shoving and teasing yourself? If you can honestly say that you were never a bully and were never a victim then most certainly you were a witness or a bystander.

North Aurora Police Officer Robyn Stecklein grew up with five brothers and learned a lot about bullying the hard way.

Last week she teamed up with the Messenger Public Library youth services department to talk to grade-schoolers and their moms about bullies.

Stecklein is a familiar face around North Aurora as she operates the speed gun at baseball throwing booths at school fun fairs and instructs fifth-graders in the new "Too Good for Drugs" program.

"How many of you like it when your feelings get hurt?" she asked the group.

"Gossiping or telling others secrets is bullying," she explained. "When you do stuff, you should think about how it would make you feel."

Stecklein gave examples of bullying and asked a few of the girls to gather around her in the middle of the room. She asked one of the boys to walk over and try to enter their group.

Just as the boy approached the group Stecklein whispered, "Don't talk to him. We don't want to play with him. Look away."

Stecklein asked the girls later why they blindly did as she told them. She asked the group how they thought the boy felt when they excluded him.

"Everyone in this room is important and has people who care about you," she said. "If you are hurt or scared go to your teacher or principal. Teachers should care if you are being picked on."

Stecklein said she has been surprised recently when kids have informed her that teachers are scolding kids for being tattle tales.

"You have a right to be safe and not to get picked on. It's good to let people know what's going on and to get help from someone you trust," she told the kids.

Mothers met with Stecklein after the presentation while the kids went to another room to make friendship bracelets and color.

Bonnie Lopez brought her second- and third-grade girls from Schneider School to the presentation.

"I'm preparing them for middle school," she said. "I'm taking it a step further and letting my girls hear about bullying from somebody else than just me."

Lopez remembered the difficult times she had in school with a girlfriend.

"I had a friend who always made me sad and it took a real long time before I realized that I shouldn't be friends with her any more," she told the group when the kids left the room.

Stecklein made a point to tell the moms that she is available to meet with students in their classrooms and in Scout or church groups.

The officer will tailor her presentation one way for the younger kids and includes more about cyber bullying for the older middle school children.