Speaking up about suicide

Advocates from the Tri-Cities gathered Sunday for discussion and remembrance of suicide victims.

Staff members at Geneva Lutheran Church, along with experts from Suicide Prevention Services, Fox Valley Volunteer Hospice, and Conley Outreach, joined forces provide education on suicide prevention, as well as well as support for survivors.

The event included a panel discussion from various organizations specializing and preventing and coping with the suicide of a loved one.

The common consensus of the evening? Talk about it.

"I believe talking about suicide is one of the best ways to prevent suicide," said Mari Wittum, director of Clinical Services for Suicide Prevention Services. "It can save someone's life."

Wittum pointed out that most people who successfully commit suicide do not necessarily want to end their life, but end the pain.

"Suicide is a permanent solution to a problem that is probably temporary," added Dawn Zappitelli, child and young adult bereavement coordinator with Fox Valley Volunteer Hospice.

Although a taboo subject in past years, people are growing more comfortable with discussing it.

Those who are contemplating suicide are encouraged to speak with a friend, family member, or outreach professional for help, just as someone does when concerned about a physical medical condition.

"We need to be as comfortable talking about our depression as we are about our blood pressure," Wittum said.

All of the experts urged parents to be open and honest when talking with their children about suicide, especially if someone close to them takes their own life. In most cases the truth eventually comes out when a parent tries to hide the facts about a loved one's death from their children.

In addition, parents are encouraged to make clear to their children that they can come to them with any problem, even if they are having suicidal thoughts.

"Our children need to know our unconditional love," Zappitelli said.

For those who are left behind, the pain is almost unbearable. However survivors are also encouraged to seek help in dealing with their grief, guilt and anger.

Bruce Conley of Conley Outreach suggested three ways to deal with the grieving process: acknowledge the cause and grieve the loss, remember the love and celebrate the life, and live your life and share your love.