Proximity to horror puts focus on survival
Northern Illinois residents discovered Thursday the stark difference between horror stories viewed through the prism of distance and those seen up-close.
Shooting rampages at Columbine High School in Colorado and Virginia Tech were shocking, to be sure. But they did not set off the churning stomachs, the madly thumping hearts and the torrent of cell phone calls the way reports of an armed killer on the campus of Northern Illinois University in DeKalb did.
Almost everyone in the suburbs knows a student who attends NIU or has colleagues, friends or business associates whose children attend there. Thousands of area residents also are NIU alumni. This story wasn't news from afar, but real life kicking down the door to our homes in breath-stealing, close-to-the-heart fashion.
Our very different response to the NIU shootings versus the more voyeuristic view we had of the others shows that while we are a society very connected electronically and superficially, we remain detached from all but our inner circles emotionally and intellectually.
The very personal nature of the NIU experience is one in which we could easily picture someone, a specific someone, under attack. It tended to concentrate our thoughts not so much on the vagaries of security, the genesis of such lethal behavior or the vision of open college campuses becoming gated communities, but on our relationships with our kids and the advice we give them.
So far, five students have died along with the shooter, who killed himself after he walked into a Cole Hall classroom and opened fire to devastating result. Many others were seriously hurt so the death toll may grow.
Just as happened at Columbine and Virginia Tech, victims received little or no official help until after the shooting had stopped. And that reality is where parents might want to focus their discussions with their children -- survival.
We ought to be teaching them how to recognize and acknowledge danger in what can only be a surreal moment. No one really expects another person to start shooting at them in a classroom in this country, the shoot-'em-up nature of our movies and easy availability of guns notwithstanding. But these incidents make it obvious that "officials" and "rescue personnel" aren't likely to save anyone. Victims are sitting ducks in a confined space. Officials will try, but these incidents happen so fast and create such chaos that the killing is often finished before anybody can be notified.
That's why conversations ought to be about recognition of dangers, poise and self preservation. Do you hide, run or try to take down the attacker? The answers will be found only in the circumstances of the moment, but those who freeze rather than act will have less chance to survive. No one can predict how they or anyone else will respond in a moment of crisis, but accepting the possibility of it occurring and talking about it in advance helps survival chances.
Conversations also ought to be about the absolute necessity of helping those around you in such moments, too. At Columbine, Virginia Tech and NIU, people were saved not by officials and rescue personnel, but by selfless and responsible behavior on the part of friends, classmates and bystanders. Preparing oneself with First-Aid training and developing a mindset to help will only improve everyone's odds.
If we want our kids to have a chance to survive such lethal moments, we must do more than call them on their cell phone after the fact. We must teach them to be realistic, discerning and self-reliant before they face such a moment.