God can grow marriages even in troubling times

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose."

-- Romans 8:28 (NIV)

Due to life's many challenges, today's marriages are struggling to survive. My heart goes out to couples overwhelmed with the difficulties they face.

Being able to relate to each other and keep those ties lasting during tough times takes discipline and dedication. For those struggling, I'd like to share my story in hopes that it would help you make your marriage work.

Eleven years ago, Jeff and I had the same aspirations many couples share of getting married and living happily ever after.

The first year of our married life was like that of most couples. We spent time getting acquainted with each other's living habits. We asked each other questions such as, "What kind of toothpaste do you like?" and "What's your favorite brand of soap?" We thought we were breezing through life when we managed the disputes about who left the cap off the toothpaste. But toward the end of that first year, we started to face the biggest challenge of our wedding vows, "in sickness and in health."

My health started to decline. As we faced this challenge, time went by and my symptoms only continued to worsen. Our marriage was not turning out as we had envisioned. We had expected fun and vacations, not sickness and discouragement.

I was soon forced to quit my job as a nurse. Before long, I was unable to perform many of the chores, and Jeff was forced to pick up the slack. He was doing the laundry, grocery shopping and cleaning. Due to medical bills, our savings started disappearing fast. We often fell asleep at night with hearts full of despair.

But through all our pain and suffering, we learned to lean on God. We found the strength to carry on as we prayed together each morning before getting out of bed and each night before closing our eyes in sleep. When one of us had a bad day and frustration set in, we learned to be honest and open with each other and listen to each other even if we didn't feel like it.

Through our struggles, we realized that God worked things out for the good. He gave us a love, grace and understanding for each other that many married couple never experience. He has grown our marriage and love far beyond its years. He has shown us that happiness is not living without circumstances, but searching for life and joy within them.

• Annettee Budzban's new book "Spend a Moment with God" can be ordered through bookstores or online bookstores, or by calling the toll free number (877) 289-2665.