Jeeves in love
"Bernard and Doris" is the definition of a boutique project for premium cable.
Concerning the love between a demanding heiress and her gay butler, it's not the sort of story anyone would pay $10 to see at the multiplex as a feature film. Yet, as brought to life by Susan Sarandon and Ralph Fiennes, it's just the sort of thing HBO viewers sign on for when they subscribe.
No, it shouldn't move anyone to pick up the phone and order HBO this weekend. But for subscribers it's a welcome midwinter shoot of quality when it debuts at 7 p.m. Saturday, an otherwise barren night for television.
Sarandon and Fiennes are a pair of A-list stars known for being able to fit themselves into low-key or genuinely unpopular roles, and they prove perfect for this understated made-for-TV movie, directed by Chicago native Bob Balaban.
It's based on a true story, but largely fleshed out by writer Hugh Costello, as tobacco heiress Doris Duke and her butler, Bernard Lafferty, were both very private people who didn't share much with the outer world. "Some of the following is based on fact," reads the introduction. "Some of it is not."
Yet the factuality is almost beside the point. From the opening credit sequence, in which orchids spin slowly over newspaper headlines establishing the backstory, "Bernard and Doris" creates a tasteful atmosphere in which to set and nurture an unlikely love affair.
Sarandon brings her saucy sexuality intact to the role of Doris, while adding an imperious element. She's not just rich; she's a rhymes-with-rich, firing a butler for serving the breakfast cantaloupe at the wrong temperature.
Enter Fiennes in a balky old car as Bernard, an Irish butler who has previously served Elizabeth Taylor and Peggy Lee, so he knows a little something about working for prima donnas. When he reveals a recent six-month hole in his resume, however, Doris can smell the rehab on his breath, asking, "Drugs or alcohol?" No matter. She tells him simply to keep his hands off hers, and he's hired.
From that prickly stem a grudging mutual respect and even admiration flowers, beginning in the conservatory, where Bernard helps Doris tend to her orchids, the only living things she cares for.
That's the simple arc of the tale. What enhances it are the lovely little grace notes: Bernard's humble officiousness, even when confronted by one of Doris' many lovers, in his boxers and nothing but, at the grand piano, or the way the three later sing show tunes at that piano, before Bernard is left to turn out the lights as the lovers moan upstairs. Of course, that's all before the stud gets himself kicked out for getting seconds from the hired help.
So perhaps Bernard's open homosexuality is what makes him safe for Doris as a confidant if not a lover -- and certainly as an enabler. Bernard obviously adores her, perhaps a little too much, and it's nothing new for him, as he already has treasured photos of Taylor and Lee on display in his room.
Are they there to throw up a smokescreen? Does his homosexuality serve the same purpose? Doris' main legal adviser certainly thinks so, saying, "Why can't you see that this guy is up to something?" Yet their relationship only deepens, and the little moments they share only grow richer.
When Doris brings him back a caftan from a trip and it fits him perfectly, she boasts, "How brilliant am I?"
"I feel like Lawrence of Arabia," he adds.
Those two lines say everything about their characters, and the movie is peppered with moments like that.
Real story or not, I want to take care not to give anything away. But I will draw attention to two late details. At one point Bernard takes Doris in his arms in order to plump her pillow, and all the passion she's ever felt seems funneled through her eyes. Then, just when everything looks peachy, Costello comes up with a wicked line for her that undercuts all sentimentality.
It's not great or an all-time classic by any means, but it is an exquisite little HBO hothouse flower, and I guarantee it will send a viewer out running to find a copy of Peggy Lee's "I Love the Way You're Breaking My Heart."
Waste Watcher's choice
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Winehouse rehabs Grammys
The Grammy Awards have set the standard for entertainment-industry inconsequence for years, but they might get a much-needed shot in the arm, so to speak, if Amy Winehouse shows up as promised to perform at this year's 50th anniversary ceremony at 7 p.m. Sunday on CBS' WBBM Channel 2. "The E! True Hollywood Story" warms up viewers with a Winehouse profile at 5 p.m. Saturday on E!
British Oscars
The British Academy Film Awards get U.S. viewers prepped for the Oscars when they cross the pond at 7 p.m. Sunday on BBC America. So pick your poison: music or movies.
Sketch pads
BBCA also imports a new sketch-comedy series when "That Mitchell and Webb Look" debuts at 8:20 p.m. today. The Independent Film Channel defends the national comic honor by launching the second season of "The Whitest Kids U' Know" at 10 p.m. Sunday.