Public displays of affection taking off in flight

Did you hear about the United Airlines passenger who took the old slogan "Fly the friendly skies" a little too literally and landed in jail instead of Seattle, Wash., last month?

Apparently, shortly after the flight took off from Dulles International Airport, this man decided to do more than share the armrest with his seat partner. Because she was trying to sleep, he was polite enough to limit his talking, but that didn't stop him from letting his fingers do the walking. She didn't appreciate being his cookie jar and his fantasy crumbled when she screamed.

In his defense, he might have been groping for the flight attendant call button and got confused. If you're seated in a middle seat on a full load, just shifting your weight can cause your seat partner to feel violated.

At any rate, a U.S. Marshal on the aircraft handcuffed him. He was forced to keep his hands to himself until the men in blue escorted him off the plane in Pittsburgh after the pilot made an unscheduled landing.

As far as I know, groping strangers on an airplane is rather unusual. If any stranger gets "groped" it's usually one of the flight attendants. And it's generally done by someone wanting a service, like an extra bag of peanuts. It's irritating, but it's usually innocent -- or so we told ourselves.

But trying to make whoopee at 35,000 feet is another story. For some reason, "love is in the air" has more to do with traveling over Paris than springtime in Paris. Type in "sex on an airplane" on an Internet search engine and you'll find a list of Web sites with blogs about the sport.

Years ago, on a flight to Rome, two passengers, looking for love in all the wrong places, found it under the last row of the first-class cabin. Now wanting to make any more of a scene than this already was, the flight attendant threw a blanket over the couple and continued with her service. Periodically, a foot would extend into the aisle, which entertained some passengers and disgusted others. Everybody agreed it was a better show than what was on the screen.

But for some reason, most of this lovemaking happens in the lavatories. Last year a drunken passenger and his girlfriend joined the mile-high club in the john of a British Airways flight on its way to Jamaica. When flight attendants told them to cool their jets, the passengers became violent and the flight was diverted to Bermuda where the love birds were arrested and later caged for a year in England.

Also last year, British actor Ralph Fiennes hit the tabloids when he was found in a lavatory on a Qantas airplane with one of the flight attendants working the flight. The flight attendant claims she was just doing her job. Her coworkers disagreed.

Now with the new super-liner Airbuses sporting private cabins and double beds in their first class cabins, getting connected at 35,000 feet has added a whole new meaning, which has nothing to do with cell phones or computers.

While other airlines are still feeling their way, Singapore Airlines has taken a stand. The carrier claims in order to ensure a serene environment for its passengers and crew members, it is insisting passengers abstain from lovemaking on its Airbus 380 flights. So it looks like it's back to the lavatories for the amorous crowd. What happens at 35,000 feet stays at 35,000 feet.

Gail Todd, a free-lancewriter,worked as a flightattendant for more than 30years. She can be reached viae-mail at gailtodd@aol.com.