Living out the lessons of Luke

The mom waiting to pick up her daughter at Louise White School was always uncomfortable with the woman who let her toddler son play near the buses.

But she couldn't bring herself to be rude and mention it to the child's mother.

Then one day as 10-year-old Luke Laudolff came in from recess, he walked over to the woman and said, "Please don't let him go so close to the bus. It's dangerous!"

"He said what adults couldn't and maybe helped that mother realize the risks involved," the mom wrote on Luke's memorial Web site. "You must be so proud."

It was one of the stories Batavia parents Paul and Joanne Laudolff didn't hear until after they lost their son this summer.

Since then, friends, family and strangers have helped them cope and memorialize their only child.

For the little boy who loved animals and nature, his classmates at Louise White raised money to plant a memorial garden by the school.

Coincidentally, they picked the spot where Luke's dog Georgia would wait to meet him after school.

Paul and Joanne set up a memorial fund to benefit the Anderson Animal Shelter in South Elgin, where Luke was a volunteer. The money will fund the items for the "Kids-N-Kritters" program.

"We wanted to pick something that not only would stay around but would be attached to something he enjoyed," Paul said.

They've also talked to friends interested in setting up a yearly fundraiser for the shelter in Luke's memory, maybe a dog wash.

It's one of the things that keeps them feeling connected to Luke, who drowned in Lake Michigan in July while vacationing with his family.

Another thing that helps is Luke's memorial Web site, lukelaudolff.com, set up by family members with pictures, a guest book and copies of Luke's artwork.

"You have to spin it so it's not all about the pain," Joanne said. "We have to think about what we learned from him and how it can make us better."

Among the outpouring of sympathy from the community, she hopes one handwritten card holds such a promise: "I'm so sorry you had to be the lesson for us to cherish our children every day."

Luke, a Boy Scout, was always active, almost having an urgency to learn and experience things, Joanne said. He loved to draw, build things and crack goofy jokes.

"He had a huge personality and a big heart, especially for his animals and his friends," she said. "I think he did a lot of living in those 10 years."

He was very affectionate and inquisitive, trying to learn about all kinds of things.

He "wove his way into people's lives," Paul said. "I think his purpose was to touch people in that way, in his own different way."

That's been proven by the number of people who've left memories on Luke's Web site about his impact on them. Paul calls it a lifeline for them.

"We can't be who we were anymore," Joanne said. "But we are hopeful, and we're as good as we can be, given the circumstances. It's not that it gets easier. It just gets less hard."