Gamble smartly and sensibly in 2008

Another year is coming to a close, and it'll be time for some more New Year's resolutions. I'll leave losing weight, quitting smoking and exercising up to the self-help gurus. My job here is to get you to gamble more sensibly next year than you have in the past, if you gamble at all.

At a time when gambling expansion is sweeping the country, it'll be very easy to become a gambling casualty -- a degenerate who slipped over the line from recreational gambling to addictive gambling. To guard against that, you should understand some facts about how gambling works -- and how it doesn't.

First, realize that most casino games simply cannot be beaten. If you're not an expert and you won -- it was a fluke, period. Next, understand that playing your streaks, progressing your bets or recording past outcomes has absolutely no effect on your overall results. If it had anything to do with that, casinos would be sitting ducks. Finally, know that some games are worse than others -- a lot worse. So if you're going to gamble, play a game that wouldn't practically take an act of God to bring you out on top.

The following list of casino games is printed in the order of your chances to win, from the best down to the worst.

1) Blackjack

2) Live Poker

3) Video Poker

4) Craps

5) Baccarat

6) 3 Card Poker

7) Caribbean Stud

8) Let-it-Ride

9) Roulette

10) Slots

The top three on the list require some skill and knowledge to make them a good gamble. A lousy poker player would be better off buying lotto tickets for a hobby! Nevertheless, if you want a reasonable chance to win in the casino, your game must contain a human element. That human element is skill.

Blackjack: Twenty-one is undoubtedly, the easiest game to acquire the skill that will give you an overall edge. First, you need to learn the correct way to play all your hands. Then you must gain some awareness of available high vs. low cards. Your advantage will be very small, but it still beats the snot out of losing just like everybody else.

Live Poker: Become an expert poker player, and you'll have an edge much larger than is possible anywhere else in the casino. Problem is, poker strategy runs very deep and the higher your stakes, the more experts you're likely to have for opponents.

Video Poker: The percentage payback on video poker has eroded over the years. Machines with 100+ percent returns for perfect drawing decisions are nearly extinct. But 99+ percent machines are still around if you can decipher their listed payout tables. Remember though, you've got to make the strategically correct draws.

Craps: The human element in craps boils down to simply knowing which three or four of its 30 available bets will keep the house edge down to a bare bones minimum. You can get your disadvantage down to well under 1 percent at craps, but you can never gain the upper hand in the game.

Baccarat: For an absolute no-brainer game, baccarat has only a 1.2 percent house edge. Sorry though, there's no way to improve your chances beyond that.

3 Cd. Poker / Carib. Stud / Let-it-Ride:ŒThese three late-comers all have a 2 percent to 2.8 percent minimum house edge. As card games go, that's poor.

Roulette: The house will end up keeping 5 percent of all the money you wager at roulette. James Bond could beat it, but you're no James Bond.

Slots: Every year the casinos replace more table games with machines. Last month in Illinois, 87 percent of all casino income came from electronic machines. Their average profit per machine was 8.3 percent of its total action. If you've got money to burn, there's a slot machine waiting just for you.

Please, have a happy, intelligent and sensible new year.