Cubs ought to keep buying … and buying

What we know is that the Cubs were by far the highest bidder for Kosuke Fukudome, and were prepared to go well beyond $48 million if necessary.

So why stop now?

The Cubs are going all out to win the World Series this year, having spent like drunken Steinbrenners the last 13 months in hopes of buying a championship.

Having come up short in 2007, why not go out now and buy a legitimate, playoff-tested center fielder like Kenny Lofton for insurance? At least if Felix Pie starts slow, you've given Lou Piniella another option.

Throw in a Livan Hernandez, or some facsimile thereof, with his 200 innings and 13 wins, and between a starter and Lofton it's only another $14 million, give or take a million or four.

Now add Brian Roberts as a gift from Andy MacPhail, and he can finally say he helped the Cubs win an NL pennant.

Seriously.

It's all come down to a one-year program for this regime.

With the club's sale delayed, this management group has been given a stay of execution.

But if the Cubs don't win the World Series, who knows? Considering how bad some of these contracts are going to look in a couple years, it could get ugly.

So why not spend for one more outfielder, grab a starting pitcher along the way, and bring in Roberts and his $14 million for the next two years?

The cash is there, and with the ads they'll be selling to Japanese companies, there's even more on the way, so we say buy, buy and buy some more.

After all, they've got nothing to lose but money.

Cold as ice

For the money they spent, some Cubs fans want to see Ted Williams in right field next year.

That might be a hair unfair.

If you take the money out of it and just let Kosuke be Kosuke, you're probably going to like him a lot.

He'll be one of the few Cubs who knows how to play his position and throws to the right base.

On a team full of rock heads, Fukudome will stick out as their smartest player, and one who finally adds some defense, running ability and an intelligent plate approach.

Needs a nickname

How about K-Dome? All I know is his full name is a full accident waiting to happen.

The Lou do

Don't think for a second that just because they've promised him right field, that Lou Piniella won't move K-Dome to center if he's left with no other choice.

The Cubs promised Alfonso Soriano all kinds of things, and he went from being promised right field, to promised center field, to lucky there's another field.

Spin city

Teams that miss out on players often let it be known that they offered just as much, or even more than the winner, as a way to pacify their fan base, and agents like to portray a furious bidding war to entice future clients.

But the Cubs announced they intended to blow everyone away, and that's what they did.

If other teams are upset, well, the Cubs can just point to the 100-year anniversary they're about to celebrate.

Medication helps

The lunatic fringe always pops a cork when anyone criticizes the beloved, but if someone believes the Cubs overspent, that can be taken as criticism only if you have a guilty conscience.

Seam stress

The same people who scream about rising ticket prices one week, return the next week to suggest no one ought to question how much the Cubs spend on free agents.

And the same people certain in December that the Cubs will win the World Series, have usually jumped overboard by April.

Even when we told everyone last May that they'd win a bad division, when they looked hopelessly out of it, the bandwagon was empty and the mailbox filled with haters and doubters.

By August, the parade routes had been mapped out, and in October the psych wards filled with those wondering why this team can't lay off a pitch in the dirt.

Such is the life of a Cubs fan.

I know. I lived it. I remember the Cubs telling us Steve Ontiveros would be an all-star, Doug Capilla would win 20, and Scot Thompson would be a Hall of Famer.

It doesn't go away, but therapy does help.

Cramped quarters

If you've ever seen the contingent of Japanese reporters that follow a player, and we've seen it on the South Side, then you already know the Cubs are going to need a new press box about twice the size of the old one.

Scariest question

Don't know if this will be in the Mitchell Report, which is due to be released today, but some ex-players we spoke to -- who were forced to answer questions because they still work for teams -- were asked if they knew of any ex-teammates who traveled with mistresses.

That's the Barry Bonds girlfriend angle, where they get the jilted ex to tell tales about the married boyfriend.

Yikes.

The quote

Kareem Abdul-Jabbar to Forbes Magazine, on why there are so few low-post players in the NBA: "Everyone has become so enamored with the 3-point shot, especially kids. It's kind of like lotto fever. So many young people would rather go shoot a 3-pointer, just because fans get excited. It's really low-percentage basketball.''

Prime timing

Comedian Alex Kaseberg, on Monday Night Football: "I don't want to say that New Orleans' win over Atlanta was boring, but at times it seemed like Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday Night Football.''

And finally ...

Greg Cote of the Miami Herald: "The Bills' Kevin Everett, thought paralyzed by a spinal injury earlier this year, reportedly walked on his own this week at a Houston rehabilitation clinic. It is considered to be by far the biggest miracle of this NFL season, pending a victory by the Dolphins."