2 left feet don't hinder this line dancing class

I am directionally challenged. I am mathematically challenged. Put those two qualities together and it equals a very bad line dancer.

As a way to get in some exercise, I signed up with my neighbors to learn line dancing. I knew I was in trouble when the instructor asked me to form my own line.

"Then you will be able to watch the line in front of you and the line behind you when you turn," she said.

How could I watch anyone else when my eyes were locked on her feet?

"Count to eight and just do step, step slide, step, step slide, turn," she continued.

Was the slide two counts? Was I on three or four? When the class reached eight I was still on four. I'd hire my son the drummer for help but I am afraid that his consulting fee would be more than the cost of the class.

Luckily, the ladies in the park district's line dancing class and the instructor, Lou Carter, are kind-hearted people who don't mind being bumped when they go left and I go right.

This is a new class at the park district, much to the satisfaction of participant Hope Terrazas. She is a former line dancing teacher from the Niles Park District.

"I've been trying to get the park district here to offer line dancing for quite a while," she said. "It's a great form of exercise, especially for seniors, and it's a lot of fun."

Most of the class members were quick to agree. That was good news for Carter. She is in her first year of teaching the class.

"I took some classes and I really enjoyed it," she said. "When a friend of mine suggested that I teach a class here, I decided to do it since it wasn't offered."

Faye Jara is a veteran line dancer, dancing for more than seven years. She thinks Carter is doing a great job.

"There's no pressure," said Jara. "She takes it slow and makes it fun."

Jara convinced her daughter, Lauren Defina, to join the class and the novice line dancer is beginning to warm to the dance.

"I have always had two left feet and that doesn't make it easy," she said. "But I'm learning and I'm having fun."

Linda Dunham says she fakes it but she seems to have the moves and is very relaxed when she learns the steps.

"I got involved in line dancing a few years back when my daughter gave me a gift certificate," she said. " It's fun taking the class. There's no smoke-filled room and everyone just seems to be having a good time."

Break is over and Carter announces that we'll dance in two lines. Not having anyone in view except a line dancing in the opposite direction, I panic and move left when my line moves right. I collide with Dunham, who takes it all in stride.

"That's why we sometimes wear body armor," she said, with a smile.

The line dancing class will be offered again in the spring. Watch for the park district brochure for more information.