What would Jesus watch?
Ever since Jesus Christ had a smackdown with the money-changers in the temple, material and spiritual values have been at odds, especially at Christmastime.
This, roughly, gives justification for performance artist and activist Bill Talen to assume the persona of the Rev. Billy and to lead the Church of Stop Shopping to warn us of an impending crisis he calls the Shopocalypse.
"Mickey Mouse is the Antichrist!" the Rev. Billy shouts.
"Buy half as much! Give twice as much!" he shouts.
"Are you people or are you sheeple?" he shouts. "We're addicted! We're conflicted! We're hypnotized! We're consumerized!"
With the rhetorical style of Jesse Jackson and the hairstyle of Porter Wagoner, the Rev. Billy practically begs to be the subject of a documentary. Director Ron VanAlkemade and producer Morgan "Super Size Me" Spurlock oblige.
"What Would Jesus Buy?" follows the Rev. Billy, his wife Savitri Durkee and her Church of Stop Shopping gospel choir across America just weeks before Christmas. Their goal: to tell Americans to stop worshipping at the altar of materialism. Their ultimate Christmas Day destination: the capital of capitalism, Disneyland.
A noble message for sure, especially if the movie's bleak stats ring true that 60 percent of Americans are entrenched in credit card debt.
Unlike a Michael Moore doc that sledge-hammers us with the filmmaker's perspective, "What Would Jesus Buy?" has no point of view at all. VanAlkemade's cameras allow the Rev. Billy to show just as much of himself as he wants, and no more.
VanAlkemade offers no challenges, no hard-hitting questions, no inquiries. Where does the Rev. Billy and his church get funding? Who funded this doc? What pushed Billy to take up pretending to be a reverend?
We get a quick sketch of Billy as a child who grew up playing the piano and cello -- but what else?
Disneyland, Target and Wal-Mart are easy targets as symbols of conspicuous consumption, and the Rev. Billy takes frequent potshots at them as he marches his choir into stores and sings anti-commercial songs until the security officers eject them.
At Disneyland, a security guard explains to the Rev. Billy how things work: "It's not like the U.S. on public land where you're free to sing!"
Just when we think the self-anointed Billy is nobly cajoling us to substitute spiritual health for material wealth, he pulls a fast one.
Turns out that he really objects to products made in other countries with child and slave labor. Does that mean the Rev. Billy wouldn't worry so much about the coming Shopocalypse if items bought were all made in the good old USA?
VanAlkemade never asks the question.
The Rev. Billy also obsesses over buying gas for his choir bus. "Fossil fuels! Forgive me!" he shouts to the camera as he fills the tank. What does buying fuel have to do with stopping destructive, addictive consumerism?
Pretty soon, the Rev. Billy appears to be an opportunistic scam artist, although VanAlkemade's lack of journalistic skills doesn't give us enough information to confirm it. VanAlkemade downplays the most interesting part of his doc where TV news reporters become cheerleaders for holiday over-spending.
"'Tis the season to be shopping!" a reporter chirps.
"Shop yourself silly!" another one chimes. The bluntest one: "Get out and shop!"
A CNN anchorwoman tops them all: "I would just like to say that sometimes I enjoy my diamond ring more than my husband!"
The Rev. Billy also ignores how TV commercials, especially those for luxury cars, subvert the Christmas spirit of selfless giving by suggesting, "Why not buy one for yourself?"
The Shopocalypse is already here, people. This doc just doesn't know it.
Note: The Rev. Billy will host a Q&A session after today's 7 p.m. screening at the Century Centre, and will introduce the 10:15 p.m. screening.
"What Would Jesus Buy?"
1 star out of four
Opens today
A documentary produced by Morgan Spurlock and directed by Rob VanAlkemade. A Warrior Poet Films release. At the Century Centre in Chicago. No MPAA rating, but suitable for general audiences. Running time: 91 minutes.