Couples say 'I do' about bridesmen, groomsmaids

You've been best friends for years.

So tossing him to the groom's side of the altar on your wedding day seems, well, weird.

But it's not like your best guy friend can be a bridesmaid, right?

Of course he can.

In the age of dual bachelor or bachelorette parties, same-sex commitment ceremonies and moms walking brides down the aisle, suburban wedding planners and newlyweds say couples can gender-bend, so to speak, when choosing their bridal parties, too.

Elizabeth Giromini, a wedding planner for Events Worth Toasting in Arlington Heights, says choosing important friends and family is paramount.

"You're vowing to love this person forever, and you are supposed to be surrounded by people you feel will be with you forever, and who will help you honor that commitment," Giromini says.

In the past year, Giromini planned weddings for two couples who invited men to join the women's side of the bridal party.

If you think it's a young, hip trend, think again: Couples who choose this, she says, generally tend to be in their 30s or older, and care less about tradition and impressing others.

"Weddings are so expensive, and people are realizing they better make of it what they want," said Giromini.

For their wedding this fall, Jana and Joel Sterk of Barrington named the groom's high school friend, Diane Siegel, as the best woman and the bride's brother, Josh Gisselquist, as the man of honor.

"We're both a bit older, in our mid-30s, and we're a little non-conventional," Jana Sterk says.

"It just made more sense because I'm really close with my brother."

Sterk says their decision didn't spawn logistical worries -- can a bridesman walk with a groomsman? -- simply because their wedding party was small.

Even with bigger weddings, however, odd numbers of men and women don't need to be a big deal. Giromini says walking single file is perfectly acceptable.

And wedding planner Kathy Ginocchio of Simply Memorable in Naperville says brides and grooms can also be creative on what to call their opposite-sex guests of honor: man of honor, best woman, wedding attendants --whatever works.

"It's not a problem to add this dimension to weddings," Ginocchio says. "Couples can figure out what everyone is comfortable with."

Things can get tricky when it comes to dual-sex debauchery at bachelor and bachelorette parties, though.

Joel Sterk's friend Diane aimed for compromise.

"She did try to coordinate more of a groom's shower with couples that didn't work out, simply due to timing issues," Joel Sterk says. "She ultimately didn't go to the bachelor party."

That's not always the case, though.

Giromini planned a Chicago wedding with a man in the bridal party who happened to be comfortable with the rest of the bridesmaids -- and he attended the shower, went to the bachelorette party and got ready with the ladies on the big day.

"He wore a tuxedo and looked very handsome," Giromini says. "But he wanted to do the girl stuff, too."