Lost luggage tales that might make you lose it

On Oct. 28 and Nov. 4, we ran a couple of columns about lost luggage.

Apparently, they hit a button with several of you. Your baggage hit my desk at an astounding rate.

While many of the letters were filled with frustration, some of the stories were hilarious. Here are a few of the losses that caused me to lose it.

• Bruce A. lost it at London Heathrow: Bruce and his wife left on a Friday for Venice through Heathrow for a Greek Island cruise. They arrived in Venice on Saturday. Bruce's luggage didn't.

Sunday arrived. Again his luggage didn't.

Bruce had been wearing the same cotton boxers for three days because they couldn't dry overnight. He figured his shorts couldn't go another round. Turned out the stores in Venice were closed on Sunday. So Bruce planned to purchase a pair onboard the ship.

There had apparently been a run on men's underwear, because the ship's shop was out of stock. However, the women's shop wasn't.

So Bruce spent two days on the high seas wearing a pair French-cut Jockeys for women. He says his "brief" encounter has gotten both rave reviews and funny looks at cocktail parties.

• Gary W. lost it at Detroit Metro: Gary was best man at his brother's wedding and in charge of arriving with the ushers' tuxedos. So, he packed all five outfits in a hanging bag.

But the airline said it was too large to take onboard. So the suits were gate-checked and Gary was told he would find the bag at baggage claim, which he did.

Unfortunately, the bag was all he found. The tuxedos were gone.

The airline promised to reimburse the cost of the tuxedos, but it couldn't furnish replacements for a wedding that was taking place in a few hours.

As it turned out, the hotel where the wedding took place dressed its waiters and bellhops in black waistcoats. It had a variety of sizes and loaned the outfits to the bridal party.

Gary said the wedding went off without a hitch, although a few hotel guests were a bit put off when he refused to help them with their luggage.

• Don D. lost it in New York: Don had just gotten married and he and his bride were leaving for a 10-day stay at a posh resort away from cities on the coast in Costa Rica. For the sake of comfort, he decided to fly in a sweatsuit.

He found out the true meaning of "sweatsuit" when that was all he had when he arrived in 100-degree Costa Rica. His wife's luggage made it, but Don's never left New York.

Daytime dress wasn't a problem. The resort shop sold swimwear and T-shirts. So Don was able to shed his sweats.

But evening was a different story. Swimwear and workout clothes were not allowed in the dining room. The restaurant was unbending.

After three days of room service, Don lost all pride and slipped into something comfortable: a pair of his new wife's elastic-waist black pants, which just cleared his knees, and a silk poncho. The maître d' raised his eyebrows but he let them stay.

Don said he got such a kick out of wearing his wife's clothes, he threatened to borrow a pair of her pumps. She said it was bad enough he could fit into her pants. If he started prancing around in her high heels, she might have to kill herself.

When I recount these tales, I'm already getting more mileage in the cocktail circuit than I get from my frequent-flier accounts. Who knew lost luggage had so much staying power?

Gail Todd, a free-lancewriter,worked as a flightattendant for more than 30years. She can be reached viae-mail at gailtodd@aol.com