Seasons bleedings: This year's holiday films dark, dreary

If I didn't know better, I'd think the holiday movies have taken their lead from "The Nightmare Before Christmas."Monsters! Mad slashers! Ghosts! Things that go bump, jump and thump in the night! When did Halloween launch a full-scale invasion of Christmas Town?We could blame Tim Burton, the producer of "Nightmare Before Christmas." His idea of a holiday movie is "Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street," opening Dec. 21. He directs this movie version of the Broadway musical about an avenging Brit who cuts throats along with locks, then out-sources the bodies to be processed into meat pies.Let's take a quick slay ride through the schedule and check out a few more movies designed to inspire some holiday fear.On Christmas Day, we have the R-rated "Alien Vs. Predator -- Requiem," the sequel to the 2004 smack-down between two of 20th Century Fox's scariest box-office creatures.Three days later, we get "The Orphanage," a creepy little tale about an orphanage with more residents than the owner knows about. They can't even be seen.Also in the hopper: "It is Fine! Everything is Fine." Crispin Glover directs a nasty little drama about a cerebral palsy patient who strangles long-haired women after having sex with them.Pity Hayden Christensen. In "Awake," he plays a young man who undergoes heart surgery while remaining fully conscious. Arghhhh!Forget regular vampires. In "I am Legend," Will Smith becomes the last human alive in a world where everyone has been converted into genetically mutated vampires created by a man-made virus.We also have pure, unadulterated monster movies such as "Beowulf" and "Stephen King's The Mist." And I'm not too sure about those sinister-looking animated title animals from "Alvin and the Chipmunks."Hollywood has a few token Oscar contenders for us, and even a few traditional family-friendly films. (See sidebar.)We've got them all covered right here in the Daily Herald's annual preview of the holiday movies. Keep in mind that studio executives change their minds a lot, so release dates can switch at a moment's notice.And have merry, scary Christmas!Nov. 16"Beowulf" -- Robert Zemeckis' special-effects-stuffed silver-screen translation of the oldest existing piece of great literature. A buffed-up Ray Winstone plays the legendary warrior who defeats the monster Grendel, only to face his really PO'd mommy, played by Angelina Jolie in a costume made of perspiration. The film will also be released as an IMAX 3-D feature. Anthony Hopkins and Robin Wright Penn co-star."Love in the Time of Cholera" -- In this Oscar-worthy drama, Javier Bardem plays a man so devastated that his lover (Giovanna Mezzogiorno) leaves him for a rich doctor that he drowns his sorrow with 622 affairs over five decades -- almost up to Warren Beatty's record. Based on Gabriel Garcia Marquez's novel. Directed by Mike "Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire" Newell."Naked Boys Singing!" -- Forget top-drawer entertainment. These guys have no drawers at all. The New York musical revue (now in its eighth year) comes to the silver screen with its cast of multitalented singers, dancers and actors, who bare it all for their art."O Jerusalem" -- A dramatic re-creation of the historic struggle surrounding the creation of the state of Israel in 1948, all seen through the eyes of two American friends, one Jewish, the other Arab. With Ian Holm, Tom Conti and Tovah Feldshuh as Golda Meir."Redacted" -- American soldiers stationed at a checkpoint in Iraq become the subject of Brian De Palma's political drama, constructed through various points of view, including those of the military, media and Iraqi citizens. Character names include Reno Flake and Master Sergeant Sweet. Could this be De Palma's "Rashomon"?"Southland Tales" -- From the director of the weird and wonderful "Donnie Darko" comes this unnerving ensemble drama set during a massive Fourth of July celebration. An action star (Dwayne Johnson) has amnesia. An adult film star (Sarah Michelle Gellar) wants her own reality TV show, and a cop (Seann William Scott) holds the key to a conspiracy. But who has the lock?Nov. 21"August Rush" -- Robin Williams plays a modern-day Fagin as he recruits a group of "Fame" rejects to hustle for him on the streets of New York. Among them dwells a musical genius orphan (Freddie Highmore), eternally searching for the parents he knows really want him back. With the effervescent Keri Russell."Hitman" -- Based on the popular video game, this thriller stars Timothy Olyphant as a genetically engineered assassin called Agent 47, chased by Interpol and the Russians across Eastern Europe. With Dougray Scott."I'm Not There" -- Todd Haynes directs six actors (including Cate Blanchett) portraying Bob Dylan as we witness his shifting persona from the public to the private to the fantastical, all the while "weaving together a rich and colorful portrait of this ever-elusive American icon." Let's hope it really does that."Margot at the Wedding" -- Two sisters realize that when their family is about to implode, the only thing they can cling to for support is their imploding family! Nicole Kidman, Jack Black and Jennifer Jason Leigh star. Directed and written by the amazing Noah Baumbach of "Squid and the Whale" fame."Stephen King's The Mist" -- When carnivorous creatures come out of a mysterious fog in a small town, the local citizens retreat to a supermarket, where they must face a force more terrifying than the critters: themselves. Sounds like a re-warmed serving of "Night of the Living Dead." Director Frank Darabont's third film based on a King story. Thomas Jane and Andre Braugher star as potential cadavers.Nov. 23"Milarepa" -- A young man learns black magic to defeat his enemies and other magicians before he learns the lessons of violence. Then he evolves into Tibet's greatest saint. Based on the centuries-old oral history."Sing-Along Grease" -- I got chills (they're multiplyin') just thinking about singing along with John and Olivia.Nov. 28"The Savages" -- Wonderfully wrought performances by Laura Linney and Philip Seymour Hoffman lift this domestic drama about two estranged siblings forced to deal with their aging father (Philip Bosco). The closing night show at this year's Chicago International Film Festival.Nov. 30"Awake" -- Erstwhile Darth Vader Hayden Christensen has a peculiar condition that allows him to be fully conscious during heart surgery, even though he's paralyzed by anesthesia. Yechhhh! The lovely Jessica Alba plays his troubled wife."For the Bible Tells Me So" -- Gays and the Bible. A volatile combination? Not in Dan Karslake's documentary that examines how traditional biblical opposition to homosexuality is based on a misinterpretation of scripture."It is Fine! Everything is Fine." -- Crispin Hellion Glover used his "Charlie's Angels" paycheck to finance this odd and disturbing drama. It's about a man with cerebral palsy (played by a man with cerebral palsy) who has sex with long-haired women before he strangles them. A few graphic shots easily make this an NC-17-level movie."What Would Jesus Buy?" -- Activist/performance artist Bill Talen takes a hard and brutal look at the commercialization of Christmas, materialism and over-consumption in American culture. We'll toss in globalization and shady business practices of large corporations, too. Billy and his choir take a cross-country Christmas trip to spread their message about the evils of patronizing retail outlets.Dec. 1"Metropolis" -- Fritz Lang's 1927 silent masterpiece of German cinema returns in a brand-spanking-new 35 mm restored print. In the year 2026 (that's just around the corner, people!), society has become divided into the underground workers and the above-ground privileged. It's up to a working teacher to launch a revolt.Dec. 7"Atonement" -- Three young lives become altered for the worse when one member of a romantic triangle accuses another of a crime he didn't commit. The epic story starts in 1935 and spans several decades during which the accuser attempts to make amends for her unfounded, dishonest charges."Man in the Chair" -- A curmudgeonly old filmmaker (Christopher Plummer), the last surviving crew member on "Citizen Kane," becomes a reluctant mentor to a troubled teen movie buff (Michael Angarano), who steals a car because it looks just like the one in "Christine." Costarring Robert Wagner and the immortal M. Emmett Walsh."Protagonist" -- Inspired by Greek drama, this visually inventive documentary weaves the stories of four men: a terrorist, a bank robber, a formerly gay evangelist and a martial-arts student. It almost sounds like a set-up for a bad bar joke."Romance Cigarettes" -- Stay with me on this one. John Turturro directs this 2005 musical production in which James Gandolfini vacillates between his wife (Susan Sarandon) and his mistress (Kate Winslet). Mandy Moore, Mary-Louise Parker and Aida Turturro play his daughters. With Christopher Walken as "Cousin Bo." What's a movie without Steve Buscemi and Eddie Izzard?"The Walker" -- Director/writer Paul Schrader appears to be recycling his 1980 tale "American Gigolo" with this drama about a Washington, D.C., "escort" named Carter Page III (Woody Harrelson), who falls into a murder case with Kristin Scott Thomas, Lauren Bacall and Ned Beatty.Dec. 14"Grace is Gone" -- John Cusack turns in a revelatory, Oscar-caliber performance as a working-class dad ill-prepared to tell his two little girls that their mother has been killed in Iraq. Instead, he drives them to an amusement park in Florida. Young Gracie Bednarczyk of River Grove and Shelan O'Keefe of Chicago make impressive, auspicious movie debuts as the daughters."I am Legend" -- Finally, Richard Matheson's classic horror tale comes to the screen under its original title. (Vincent Price starred in 1964's "The Last Man on Earth" and Charlton Heston starred in 1971's "The Omega Man," both based on Matheson's novel.) Will Smith stars as the last man on Earth after a virus turns humanity into mutant vampires."Juno" -- Ellen Page plays Juno, a teen confronting an unplanned pregnancy with her classmate Bleeker (Michael Cera). With the help of her hot best friend Leah (Olivia Thirlby), Juno finds her unborn child a perfect set of parents (Jason Bateman and Jennifer Garner). Juno has total support from her parents (J.K. Simmons and Allison Janney), but what does Juno really want?"The Kite Runner" -- Marc Forster ("Finding Neverland") directs a drama about an Afghan lad named Amir (Khalid Abdalla) who comes to America, then later returns to his Taliban-ruled homeland to rescue the best friend he left behind. Shot in China near the Pakistan/Afghanistan border. The opening night show for this year's Chicago International Film Festival."Starting Out in the Evening" -- Frank Langella is magnificently stellar in his role as an aging, widowed novelist, lured back into action by a precocious and presumptuous graduate student (Lauren Ambrose). With Chicago's Lili Taylor as Langella's estranged daughter.Dec. 21"The Diving Bell and the Butterfly" -- Artist/director Julian Schnabel tells the story of Jean-Dominique Bauby (Mathieu Amalric), the high-flying editor of French Elle magazine, renowned for his humor, style and energy. Until catastrophe changes everything. Co-starring Emmanuelle Seigner, Marie-Jos#233;e Croze and the immortal Max Von Sydow."National Treasure: Book of Secrets" -- As if the first "National Treasure" wasn't stupid enough, Nicolas Cage returns as Benjamin Franklin Gates, now seeking missing pages from John Wilkes Booth's diary that might shed light on the Lincoln assassination. (Here's the secret: The single, fatal shot came from the grassy knoll!) With Ed Harris, Jon Voight, Helen Mirren and Harvey Keitel."P.S. I Love You" -- It could be the date movie of the century. A new, young widow (Hilary Swank) retreats from the world and her feelings until she receives a series of letters from her deceased husband (Gerard Butler). Each one urges her to perform a deed designed to help her discover her own identity outside of being a wife. What a great husband, eh? With Gina Gershon, Kathy Bates and Lisa Kudrow."Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street" -- Tim Burton and Johnny Depp together again! Burton hates Broadway musicals as a rule but liked the perversely savage story of the murderous, razor-happy Todd enough to direct it as a vehicle for a singing Depp. A superb supporting cast includes Alan Rickman, Helena Bonham Carter, Timothy Spall and Sacha Baron Cohen."Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story" -- Lawrence Kasdan's son Jake directs and co-writes a Judd Apatow script about a rock 'n' roll musician (Chicago's John C. Reilly) who sleeps with 411 women, gets hooked on every drug known to artists and fathers more offspring than a bunny. With Paul Rudd as John Lennon, Jack White as Elvis, Justin Long as George Harrison and John Ennis as the Big Bopper."Youth Without Youth" --Tim Roth plays Dominic Matei, an aging professor of linguistics who survives a cataclysmic event that miraculously restores his youth and gives him a highly evolved intellect. This attracts the attention of Nazi scientists. So he flees with his lost love Laura and works to complete his research into the origins of human language. Directed by Francis Ford Coppola.Dec. 25"Alien Vs. Predator -- Requiem" -- Just the ticket for a heart-warming, spiritual holiday experience on Christmas Day! The two famous outer-space villains (both 20th Century Fox creations) go at it again in the tradition of "Frankenstein vs. the Wolfman." In a small town populated by no-name actors, the Alien and Predator duke it out."Charlie Wilson's War" -- Tom Hanks plays a fun-loving U.S. congressman who takes it upon himself to funnel funds and weapons to Afghanistan after the Soviets invade the country in 1979. He gets help from a renegade CIA agent (Philip Seymour Hoffman) and a Houston socialite (Julia Roberts). Directed by Chicago's own (and Diane Sawyer's own) Mike Nichols."The Great Debaters" -- Denzel Washington directs his second feature (the first being "Antwone Fisher"), based on the true story of a Texas college professor who inspired his students to form a debate team and challenge Harvard University in 1935. Starring Washington, Kimberly Elise and Forest Whitaker.Dec. 28"The Orphanage" -- This could be a creepy one, kids. Laura (Bel#233;n Rueda) buys her beloved childhood orphanage and converts it to a home for disabled children. Then her son starts hanging out with the wrong kind of people -- the unpredictable, invisible kind. Time to call in the parapsychologists!Films for the whole family 487352"Love in the Time of Cholera" 512239Beowulf 512308"Alien vs. Predator -- Requiem" 475351"August Rush"