Done in L.A., wants Chicago, so now what?

After weeks of talk, not much has changed, but this much is now certain:

Kobe Bryant is leaving Los Angeles.

There. That's pretty simple.

He has passed the point of no return and the Lakers absolutely have to move him, whether it's this week, this month, this year or before the trade deadline in February.

If they wait until next summer, it decreases the amount they can get in return, though in theory they could wait as long as February 2009 to get it done.

OK, so he's a goner. That's a given. Even Phil Jackson said that the sooner it's resolved, the better for everyone involved, especially since Kobe hates all things L.A. at the moment.

The best player on the planet is available, and Bulls GM John Paxson knows he'd be a fool not to try to steal him from Los Angeles. So Paxson has spent many an hour trying to do that.

So far, the Lakers won't bite on a bad deal for them, and neither Paxson nor Bryant wants a deal that guts the Bulls.

So Paxson remains patient and careful, but not so careful that including Luol Deng is a deal-breaker. Not that he's in a hurry to move Deng. Of course he's not. Nobody wants to see Deng go.

But if Paxson can keep most of his team together and add Bryant, he will trade Deng … or Kirk Hinrich, for that matter.

Don't believe the nonsense that the Bulls have untouchables, because Paxson's mandate is to win an NBA title. Nowhere in his job description does it say he must win an NBA title with a home-grown team that fits Scott Skiles' system and personality.

That might be Paxson's preference, but he will choose the shortest path that gets him there, and he knows he already has missed opportunities by passing on Kevin Garnett and Pau Gasol the last two years.

Again, this isn't just Kobe Bryant we're talking about. It's a Kobe Bryant highly motivated and desperate to prove he can win a title without Shaquille O'Neal.

There are at least six teams in the East today that think they can get out of the conference, including the Bulls, and we're fairly certain not one of the other five GMs is sitting at home hoping against hope that the Bulls trade Luol Deng and acquire Kobe Bryant.

No, they're holding their breath and praying it doesn't happen.

Still, Paxson's in no hurry, and he knows the acquisition makes no sense if he can't win with what's left.

Bryant knows that as well, so you're left with a standoff, until the Lakers panic or a third team enters the fray and sends a ticket-seller to Los Angeles.

In the meantime, Paxson will be patient and watch closely to see what Bryant does next, and if he doesn't wind up here, it'll be disappointing but not the end of the world.

The Bulls have a nice young team and should compete in the East for a long time.

The only certainties are that Kobe Bryant is leaving L.A. and Chicago is his top choice.

It seems destined to happen.

Stay tuned.

Cows on parade

Both the best player in basketball, Kobe Bryant, and the best player in baseball, Alex Rodriguez, are available, and people are lining up from Alsip to Zion to explain why they can't find use for either player in Chicago.

It's no wonder we wind up the butt of America's jokes, not to mention the fodder for America's teams.

Runnin' on empty

E-mailer Ed in the Burg: "Want to know what deluded is? It's Lovie Smith still saying the Bears are a running team, and that they come off the bus running the football. Lovie, you may run off the bus, but the opposition jumps on that bus and runs over your team with it.''

The quote

Chiefs coach Herm Edwards, on his favorite snack: "(In college) you didn't have a lot of money. You're living on your scholarship. When you ran out of money, if you had some Fig Newtons in your refrigerator, you never went hungry. So that's kind of been my deal, from college all the way to right now. There are some Fig Newtons in our refrigerator. So if it all goes bad, I know I can go back to those Fig Newtons.''

Just asking

What will you remember most about the Darin Erstad era?

Escape from N.Y.

CBS' David Letterman: "It was such a nice day here in New York City, Alex Rodriguez opted out of his pants.''

Apocalypse now

Lance Armstrong and Ashley Olsen?

Best headline

Sportspickle.com: "Chad Johnson jumps route, picks off pass intended for T.J. Houshmandzadeh.''

And finally …

ABC's Jimmy Kimmel: "The Red Sox win another World Series, the Patriots are undefeated, the Celtics have the strongest team in a long time, and now Boston wins the World's Largest Pumpkin growing contest: Ted Kennedy's head.''

brozner@dailyherald.com