Overcome your flight fright with these tips

The woman sitting next to me was so scared she was clutching the armrest until her knuckles turned white.

It was at that point I figured I'd better engage her in conversation (or at least try).

"So, do you live in New York?" I asked because we were getting ready to fly out of JFK International.

There was no answer, so I asked again, louder.

This time my seat mate responded, her voice quivering, "Yes, I am going to Los Angeles for an audition."

"Wow, that's great," I told her. "What's the part?"

Slowly, I witnessed this pretty woman release her death-defying grip as she told me about the character she was hoping to play, even taking her hand off the armrest altogether to gesture at some appropriate intervals. Then she clammed up as our plane started to ascend.

"Please don't stop talking," I said as I looked my new friend in the eye. "Talk to me and this will be a much better experience, I promise."

Her expressive eyes betrayed distrust but she kept up the banter anyway, telling me how many people were up for the job and how this was actually her third audition for the same part. She told me if she were chosen then she would be moving to Los Angeles, so we launched into a long discussion on the pros and cons of living in the City of Angels as opposed to living in the Big Apple.

Before she realized she had survived takeoff, we were already half an hour into our flight and the attendants were taking meal orders. I acted as if we were having our meal at a very exclusive restaurant, keeping up the conversation while we waited to be served. We shared a lovely lunch after which time she turned the tables on me and asked what I did.

Of course, I was verbose, regaling her with what I thought were interesting stories of travel to many, many foreign lands. I pulled out all the stops with a bunch of my hundreds of stories and before my scared seat mate knew it, the captain made an announcement that we were an hour from landing at our destination.

Again, terror struck this actress, although I could tell she wasn't acting. To make it the rest of the way, I went back to talking about her. I asked about some of the roles she had played and again was able to engage her attention.

This time, before either of us realized what was happening, we were already hitting the runway. Silently, I thanked the pilot for making such a smooth landing.

When we came to a stop, she declared in her best stage voice, "Well, that wasn't bad. Not bad at all. And I thought I was afraid of flying."

At that, the two of us let out a big laugh as we gathered up our belongings to deplane.

Like my friend the actress, millions of people fear flying but do it anyway. To stave off those fears, following are some tricks of the travel trade that seem to help frightened flyers cope:

• Take a Zen approach. Remember your yoga breathing, and whenever you start to feel some anxiety, start deep breathing to slow down your heart rate as well as your fear level. Breathe in, hold for a full three counts, and then exhale slowly.

• Immerse yourself in a page-turner. Bring along a good read, but not one that takes too much concentration.

• Don't drink your morning coffee. The last thing a fearful flyer needs is a kick of adrenaline. Instead of a triple latte from Starbucks, buy a couple of bottles of water for the start of the flight. Not only will you be less likely to freak out, but you will also be less likely to become dehydrated.

• Finally, learn as much as you can about the flight and about the aircraft on which you will be riding. In other words, take the fear of the unknown out of the equation by knowing what is going to happen when and you will probably learn to like flying. If you're lucky, you might even learn to love the adventure almost as much as I do!