Offensive odors heightened at 35,000 feet

Editor's note: Gail Todd is taking some time off. This column originally appeared in December 2006.

If you were on a particular American Airlines flight flying from Washington, D.C., to Dallas/Fort Worth a couple of weeks ago, you probably think air travel really stinks.

I'm not talking about rotten service, crowded airplanes or delayed flights. I'm talking about the kind of stink that makes your eyes water.

And it wasn't caused by the aircraft. It was caused by a passenger.

Apparently, she made what my 3-year-old niece refers to as a "faux pas." To cover up the flatulence, the woman decided to strike a match.

When other passengers reported smelling a phosphorous odor, the crew smelled a rat and diverted the plane to Nashville. The FBI brought on bomb-smelling dogs and questioned all the passengers. When the guilty woman finally confessed to lighting the match, I'm sure her cheeks burned.

She wasn't the first passenger to cause a stink at 35,000 feet. Last September, a passenger on a flight from Lima, Peru, to Miami lost it when he found himself stuck next to a smelly seatmate. First he lost his temper and poured perfume on the man. Then he lost his lunch and threw up in the aisle -- all of which must have "reeked" havoc with the other passengers.

In an open area, odors disperse fairly easily. But in a crowded airplane they seem to gain strength.

Opening up a bottle of nail polish in the air smells as strong as a can of latex paint on the ground. A passenger who puts a few drops of essence of lavender on her eye shades might conjure up images of a funeral parlor to neighboring passengers -- not a thought anybody likes to have at 35,000 feet. And a Happy Meal from three rows away doesn't make your mouth water, it makes your eyes water.

My old flying partner Nancy remembers a woman on a flight from New York to Rome. The woman was dressed in black and sobbing when she boarded the aircraft. Nancy thought the poor woman was probably on her way to a funeral.

By the time the flight took off, several rows near the woman were also in tears, but not out of sympathy. It was the odor. The woman let the cat out of the bag when she literally let the cat out of the bag. It was dead and she was taking it home to bury it.

Last summer, a man seated next to the lavatory on a Continental flight got sick of the odors wafting out of the john every time a passenger opened the door. He hung a blanket from the overhead bin to block the stench. Later, he wrote about it on the Internet, where readers still get a whiff of it from time to time.

Most of the carriers have a clause that allows them to remove a passenger whose odor is offensive to other passengers, but it's rarely used. However, last year a passenger was removed from a British Airways flight because his odor offended another passenger.

Apparently, the man was returning from Hawaii to Germany through Los Angeles. He claimed his odor was a disability and he couldn't do anything about it. The airline thought his explanation stunk and removed him from the flight. The man sued and lost the case.

The woman who lit the match on the flight to Dallas was lucky. She was removed from the flight and will probably be on a no-fly list for some time. But she didn't get charged with a crime or a fine for causing an inconvenience to the airline and passengers.

However, I'm sure it's not over for her. She's bound to be the butt of jokes for years to come.