Some dos and don'ts to prepare your kids for college

Preparing your children for college is a process that often starts the minute they enter high school (if not sooner for some families). Throughout their high school years, students should have a varied high school extracurricular resume, take college preparation courses wherever possible and make a number of college visits. It is also important to keep track of admissions and financial aid deadlines, and become familiar with the ACT, possibly even enrolling in an ACT test-prep class.

It isn't just your child who has to be ready for higher education. You, as a parent, also must be prepared for the life-changing experience of having a child in college. Seeing a son or daughter go off to college, even a college close to home, isn't easy for many parents.

Until this point, you've been told successful parents are involved parents. Den mothers, Little League coaches and homeroom parents are championed as being proactive in their child's development. However, a growing number of parents can't let go of that level of involvement when their child goes to college. There is a tendency for parents to hover over their children and drop in to solve any problem their child might encounter.

College should be the time to develop responsibility and, for traditional-age college students, to learn to make their way in the world. They need opportunities so they can prepare themselves for their future careers and lives. When a student gets a disappointing grade, he or she should be the one who meets with the professor and finds out how to make improvements. Students also shouldn't need wake-up calls from Mom or Dad to make it to class. Facing the consequences of missing classes will be important to them when they are in the working world.

While doing necessary tasks or fixing issues for your child may have been necessary for your son or daughter in high school, it doesn't encourage the type of independence necessary in life after high school. Asking questions and leading your child to his or her own conclusion helps to teach individual problem solving.

So, how best can parents prepare their children for college? New college students' ultimate success will be determined by their ability to become self-reliant and to develop the maturity necessary to meet their obligations -- attending classes, completing their assignments, studying and doing homework, and being an active learner.

Encourage self-reliance in your children by showing them how to do laundry, cook a meal and manage their finances. Teach them time-management skills that will be essential as their lives become busier at college. Stress the importance of good study and classroom skills such as note taking and participating in class discussions.

Finally, work with your children on conflict resolution. They will need to learn how to negotiate with roommates, advisers, professors, work supervisors and many other key people, both in college and in life in general.

While encouraging a part-time job during college can actually assist in teaching a college student time management, it's important to remember balance. A very light work schedule for the first semester or two allows a student time to adjust to college-level work.

In addition, extracurricular activities that teach leadership skills, such as volunteer work and student clubs and activities, often can take a back seat to employment. These activities are typically key in helping students stand out in scholarship and job applications, as well as teaching important life skills. Students who are more involved in activities at college tend to be more academically successful.

The type of job also can make a difference. While internships and job shadowing related to future careers may not always be very helpful to the pocketbook, they can be key to gaining future experience and employment in a student's area of study. At many colleges, there are student employment options right on campus that can offer students an opportunity to make money, to encourage students to be involved, and to recognize the importance and priority of their role as a student.

Keeping the lines of communication open with new college students is very important. Encourage them to discuss their experiences with you on a regular basis. As they become involved in campus-related activities, try to schedule a visit to watch an athletic competition, attend one of their dramatic, music or dance performances, or visit an art exhibition where their work is featured.

Let your new college student enjoy taking that first step to a successful, independent life. For Mom and Dad, it is a time to step back and be proud of the work you have done as parents. Ultimately, the transition to college is a moment to celebrate.

• Christine Sobek is president of Waubonsee Community College, which is based in Sugar Grove.