No Phil? No Padraig? No matter
If you're sick of hearing about how terrible Carlos Zambrano and Rex Grossman have been treated, or tired of seeing them drop the ball, as it were, there is a solution this weekend:
Come watch Tiger Woods.
He's not only the best golfer ever, he's also the greatest athlete of our time, the Michael Jordan of this generation, and he's in town and poised to post a very low number at Cog Hill in Lemont beginning this morning.
And you better hurry because Woods, and the rest of the Tour pros, won't be back until 2009.
We'll spare you the absurd reasoning that caused the Tour to skip the third-largest market in America next year, one that supports golf as well as any in the country.
The fact is, they won't be here in 2008, so get to Cog Hill and watch Woods play in the BMW Championship this weekend.
His swing is both beauty and beast, and until you've seen him in person hold off a shot out of the rough, when even the best of the rest suffer massive hookage, you can't understand how far ahead of the curve he really is in today's game.
Sure, Phil Mickelson beat him Sunday, but in reality it was Woods needing 17 putts to Phil's 11 on the front nine that did him in.
Tiger knows he should have chased Phil down and nailed him on the back, and that anger ought to fuel a raging Tiger this weekend, and a ferocious Tiger on the prowl is the best show in sports today.
If you doubt it, go watch and report back that you disagree, but we seriously doubt you will.
True, Mickelson went home and British Open champ Padraig Harrington also has succumbed to exhaustion, but there's only one player in the field you need to see and say you did.
Does Tiger care about the FedEx Cup standings, or enjoy its deferred compensation, any more than you or your Uncle Bernie? No.
And so what. It's irrelevant.
He has the aura of Elvis, the sting of Ali, and the obsession with winning that even Jordan could envy.
Tiger Woods is here because he loves to win and loves to win in Chicago, but he won't be back for two years.
Don't be sorry you missed it.
Playoff schedule
If you're trying to make your postseason baseball plans, here's the schedule to keep in mind:
The NLDS will begin Oct. 3 and 4, hit the road on Oct. 6 and 7, and then return for a Game 5 on Oct. 9 if necessary.
If the playoffs had begun Wednesday, prior to the evening's action, the Cubs would have opened in San Diego, with Arizona heading to New York.
The NLCS starts Oct. 11-12, travels for the middle three on Oct. 14-15-17, and finishes back where it started Oct. 19 and 20.
The American League has home field for the World Series this year, thanks to Bud Selig and Tony La Russa, so the Cubs would open in the AL city on Oct. 24-25, come home for three on Oct. 27-28-29, and, snow permitting, finish in the AL city on Halloween and -- grab your anorak -- Nov. 1.
Serenity now
Of course Carlos Zambrano is sorry that he trashed the most loyal and forgiving fans in the history of pro sports, who have waited a century for a title.
Just like he was sorry for starting that fight with Michael Barrett, just like he was sorry all the times he has been ejected, and sorry for whatever he does next that costs his team games, money and focus.
But if he's not careful, Zambrano's going to start drawing comparisons to the niftiest narcissist of them all, Sammy Sosa.
Adult education
By now you're well aware of Carlos Zambrano's reaction to getting booed off the field Monday, but that same day the Brewers blew a big lead late and heard the same noise at home, as did the Cardinals, who got pounded in St. Louis.
After his pitching line was as bad as Zambrano's and he absorbed the brunt of the booing, St. Louis pitcher Kip Wells told the Post-Dispatch, "If they want to boo you, they can. They paid for a ticket. They get to do what they want.''
And Milwaukee manager Ned Yost told the Journal Sentinel, "I kind of feel like it's their right to express their feelings. They're paying their good money to come to a baseball game. They feel like they've got something invested. Do I wish they wouldn't do it? Yeah … but I respect the right of every fan to boo if they feel like they need to."
Just insurance
The Steve Trachsel acquisition is a terrific one by GM Jim Hendry under any circumstances, but is there a chance the Cubs did it because they think one of the other five starters is a little too ouchy right now?
Saving grace
While understanding the prejudice against closers, if the White Sox were contending this season, wouldn't there be talk of Bobby Jenks for the Cy Young?
Ivan Boldirev-ing
Kudos to owner Don Levin and the Wolves for bringing back the best hockey announcer in America, Pat Foley, to team once again with analyst Bill Gardner. For the fifth straight year, the Wolves will televise every game -- including all home games -- on Comcast.
Blue Sunday
Would you be shocked to hear that in the land of Buckeyes, the hottest selling T-shirt is any with the words "Appalachian State'' on it?
Carrying the torch
E-mailer Bill from Montreal: "Is Tiki Barber going to become football's version of Joe Morgan?''
The lost boys
E-mailer Stephen Klumpp: "If the White Sox are officially dead, should their new theme song be, 'Don't stop, Bereaving.' ''
And finally …
One of David Letterman's Top Ten Michael Vick excuses: "Thought I could get out of it by buying Kobe Bryant's wife a diamond.''