Guilty of houseplant homicide?

If you are the loving caretaker of a greenhouse worth of lovely and exotic house plants, this is not the story for you.

If you are reasonably sure that you're ready for pet ownership after managing to keep your leafy wards alive for at least two sports seasons, this is not for you either.

And if it has ever occurred to you to repot a newly purchased plant in something ceramic or perhaps a lovely clay bowl instead of the plastic pot it came home in, you have already surpassed any advice you'll get here.

Because this one's for you.

You, with the lone plant that you've killed seven times and brought back to life six, and who waters it about as often as you floss.

Or you, who have labored halfheartedly to sustain your houseplants but suspect that there's some memo you have not received about how to avoid botanical homicide.

Or you, who have just retired your "Pulp Fiction" poster and are considering the benefits of framed wall art and possibly the addition of something other than the contents of your refrigerator that can justifiably qualify as "alive."

And you know who you are.

It's not like you're a bad person. You're not a black thumb, a mass murderer or even an anti-plantite.

No, you're practicing -- experimenting even -- and learning from your mistakes. And according to plant expert Jon Carloftis, it happens to us all.

"I'm what one would call an expert, and I lose them, too," he said. "You win some and you lose some."

Huh. Well, that's refreshing.

The thing that holds people back from plant ownership is the thing that would-be owners should just get over, he says. Sure, they might die. But you have to keep trying.

Carloftis himself started out as an accidental house plant owner. A lifelong outdoor gardener, he started hauling plants into the house during the winter months, and once he saw the benefits of indoor greenery, he was hooked.

"There's just something good about having something growing in every room," he said.

In his book, "Beyond the Windowsill," he espouses the simple pleasures a plant can bring -- not to mention the decorative ones. They enliven a room, create balance, hide or enhance a view and generally make a room a better place.

And should that plant happen to die, well, live with it.

After all, there are plenty of fishtail palms in the sea.