Happiness is all in the relationships

"And you, of tender years,

Can't know the fears, that your elders grew by; And so please, help them with your youth; They seek the truth before they can die.

Teach your parents well …"

-- "Teach Your Children"

Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young

While it's possible youthful respondents in an Associated Press/MTV poll have never heard that 1970 rock hit, there seems little doubt those of "tender years" back then are now the "elders." And if the poll is representative at all, it seems just as possible that those elders could again learn a "truth" or two from the latest group of youngsters teaching their parents well.

As social commentary, the poll seems to indicate that young people are more traditional, less materialistic and more aware of what brings real happiness than many of their predecessors. Beyond that, they seem to have rejected the crass values of consumerism and fame, in which they've been inundated since birth, in favor of family, and amazing as it may seem, respect for and enjoyment of their parents.

In fact, the 100-question survey of 1,280 young people ages 13-25 showed that 65 percent of the group buried in the uncertainty of pending adulthood still remain generally happy with their lives. "Spending time with their families" was the number one answer to the open-ended question "What makes you happy?"

Almost no one in the poll made money or material possessions the answer to that question. Beyond that, 73 percent of respondents said their relationship with their parents made them happy. Their relationships with their friends were next in priority. Fifty-five percent said spirituality was important to their lives.

And the traditional long-term relationship of marriage is not one they deride, but one that 92 percent of them aspire to be a part of one day. Not that they are planning to jump into such relationships quickly.

Better still, this group of young people, the first true Internet generation, iPod/YouTube Nation if you will, seems to have the right heroes, too, and they aren't overpaid and irresponsible sports stars or substance-abusing faux celebrities constantly paraded before them.

Nope, for more than half the respondents, their biggest hero was a parent, with Mom getting a slight nudge over Dad. Also mentioned in the hero category were friends, God, teachers, soldiers and public safety officers.

As a sound, satisfying plan for a lifetime of happiness, it's hard to quibble with the wisdom and values of this group of young people. A group that apparently already has figured out that jobs, money, fame and even safety can be fleeting, but personal relationships are the ballast upon which one floats when celebrating the good times or surviving the trying ones.

Take a bow, parental heroes. And then listen to your children.