How to negotiate using the word 'no'

"No - The Only Negotiating System You Need for Work and Home" by Jim Camp, Crown Business, $23. Can saying "No" build the foundation for getting what you want? It all depends on how you say it. For example: A large customer asks for new pricing - a big discount - or you'll lose the business. Or will you? Clearly, saying "No" means you lose the business and all its profits. If you give in, you'll keep the business and lose some profitability. You could counter; it might work - but you're usually giving away more than necessary

But what about a saying-no tactic that makes your customer think twice about business without you? Ask questions about the worth of reliability of delivery and quality of product/service. Ask remember-when questions to remind the customer what you've done to customize and how you've gone the extra mile. Use "we" - language that stresses partnership.

Saying "no" this way reminds your customer of the value of the relationship. It also adds solid support for negotiating a smaller discount than requested. Getting to yes involves using "no" in a way that makes the other party see its need for your product/service. Your need to maintain the contract isn't focused on price-cutting.

Another "No" tactic: No talking; listen and take notes. The more you listen, the more you'll learn about your opponent. Beyond exchanging pleasantries, initial conversations should be focused on questions that drive at the issue: "What's important to you and why?" Your notes will provide response cues and "but you said" references if backpedaling becomes an issue.

Part of your response process makes sure the other party feels okay. Why? When people don't feel okay, their shields go up. However, it's okay if you're not okay - just don't let it show because it will reveal your true needs in the deal. It's okay to show humanity though. Some positive body language, humor and empathy can go a long way to keeping shields down.

"Power and Influence - The Rules Have Changed" by Robert Dilenschneider, McGraw-Hill, $22.95. Book summary: Increase your knowledge; make connections and share what you know.

Power and influence don't come to those who let things happen or those who wonder what happened. It doesn't come to those playing solitaire and free cell in their spare time at work. It comes to those who use that time reading newspapers/books/magazines, online news/articles and blogs that provide information they can use to accelerate their success.

The author points out the importance of knowing what's going on in our profession and the world: "It teaches us how to think, how to organize, how to express an argument, and how to observe the world as it evolves around us." It also gives us something to share with others - a launching pad for dialogue (e.g. conversation, blog, email, snail mail, etc.) Knowledge is addictive. The more you have; the more you want.

Mr. Dilenschneider also stresses the need to make connections. Networking is the way to share what you know. He points out that a bulging Rolodex doesn't mean much if you don't maintain contact. It's impossible to stay in contact with everyone, so you must select your "players" - those who could be your most valuable allies. You need to find out what information they need and provide it. Then tap into their "players" and do the same. Your reputation as the go-to person will spread - and with it your power and influence. In time, doors will open.

Personal stories of knowledge acquisition and connecting the dots with people show how it's done.