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Mercifully, NFL preseason comes to an end

I'll tell you what, the two guys who really stuck out to me Thursday night were O-lineman Robert Turner and TE Jeron Mastrud.

What?

#hatefinalpreseasongames

Let's just get it out of the way:

OK, you've got your Soler power, your Soler eclipse, your Soler plexus, your Soler energy, your Hope Soler, your Soler survivor and your Soler hot air balloon ride.

Did I miss any?

Yeah, quick question:

The Bears special teams currently bites.

The Bears cut Craig Steltz, one of their better special teams performers.

Even though I didn't really ask a question, I'll hang up and listen for my answer anyway.

Question:

Did the Bears find themselves a punt returner Thursday night?

Answer:

I think they might have.

Argh:

Today is the last Party in the Park at Arlington.

Fall approaches.

Props to Kenny Williams:

Not only for his riveting speech Wednesday at the Jackie Robinson West rally, but for his dogged pursuit of Jose Abreu as well. Very, very well done on both fronts.

Soak it in:

Watching Derek Jeter present Paul Konerko with a base signed by all the Yankees got me thinking: who in the world will be baseball's next Jeter and Konerko?

Middle ground:

I like Buster Posey as much as the next guy, but let's face it: the collision rule his injury inspired is just too much. And no, I don't have the answer.

I just know it can't be what it was ... and it can't be what it is.

Carnac the Magnificent:

My enormous head just returned from the future with what it says will be Javier Baez's final career numbers: 433 homers, 7 singles, 3 doubles, 1 triple and 2,038 Ks.

Borderline fascinating:

Courtesy of Baseball Reference: “The 2014 Cubs are the only team to have two players 22 or younger homer in their MLB debuts.”

Flirtin' with disaster:

I have a friend who could run, grab and clear a fence like it wasn't even there.

Me? My attempts were always clunkier than a three-point turn on a narrow Chicago side street.

Why in the world are you bringing this up, you ask?

Because ...:

I saw this week that Alpine Valley is up for sale and my final memory of that place is of tearing my jeans — and my leg — as I dorkily scaled a fence on my way out of a Molly Hatchet concert.

Yeah, that was a lot of words for really no perceptible payoff, wasn't it?

What's in a name?

Turbo Teravainen?

Gotta say I like it even though it seems to violate the NHL's rule that all nicknames must end in ‘sie' or ‘er.'

Making the call:

If I had to choose, I think I'd take the FedEx playoffs over the NASCAR Chase, but by only the slightest of margins.

Bring on the Ryder Cup!

Droning on:

First there was the case of a drone flying over Lollapalooza. Bad.

Then this week there was one hovering over a preseason NFL game at Carolina,

I really don't like where all of this is going.

Award winning:

Seeing Julia Louis-Dreyfus accept her Emmy the other night really got me reminiscing.

Man, I really miss ... “The Michael Richards Show.”

What a 9-episode run that was, wasn't it?

What?

And finally:

Have a spectacular Labor Day weekend!

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