Fun, mutual respect key to Elgin couple's 75-year marriage

Golfing, bowling, dancing, card games, long walks. Dorothy and Melvin Wilkening say their mutual love of doing fun things together was a major reason their marriage has stayed strong - for 75 years.

Dorothy, 92, and Melvin, 99, of Elgin, will celebrate their diamond wedding anniversary - which fell on Tuesday - with a gathering of family and friends on Sunday. While these days they are much less active, they still play cards, especially their favorite game, Skip-Bo, every day.

They met at a dance when she was 16 and he was 23. Dorothy took her chances and asked Melvin, who was dating her neighbor, to dance with her.

"Melvin was a nice guy. He treated me good," she said, adding it all turned out OK because her neighbor ended up marrying Dorothy's brother. "He's been good to me all these years."

As for Melvin, once he locked arms with Dorothy, that was it.

"I like to say, 'I met her at the dance and we've been dancing ever since,'" he said.

The Wilkenings raised their four children in the Sunset Park subdivision, where they were the first to move in 1947, and now they live a little farther north in a ranch home. Melvin did the yardwork until just a couple of years ago. They have four grandchildren and eight great-grandchildren.

Mutual respect is key, Melvin said.

"We've always respected one another," he said. "We had our disagreements and we always worked them out."

Dorothy's advice on marriage longevity is straightforward: "Get married young, don't get divorced and don't die. That how you make it to the 75th year," she said with a grin. "We've been blessed. We've been lucky to make it this far."

Melvin had open heart surgery last year, and Dorothy has trouble walking and with her speech. But overall they have stayed in good health, going on 5- to 8-mile walks together every day until a few years ago. "Maybe that's how we built up our resistance and lived this long," Melvin said.

Melvin worked at the former Elgin National Watch Co. before serving in the Army in the Aleutian Islands during World War II. Later, he worked for F.W. Means, a uniform and towel company in Elgin, until he retired at age 60. Dorothy joined the workforce when her youngest child started first grade, and also retired at age 60 after working for 25 years at the Owens-Illinois factory in St. Charles.

Both attend Good Shepherd Lutheran Church in Elgin, and Melvin is active with the Elgin Golden K Kiwanis Club, where he was the top peanut seller last year and several times before.

Getting along doesn't mean not speaking up, the Wilkenings said.

"We both have tempers, but we try to control them," Melvin said. "Nobody is perfect. If you've got something to say that you think about, you just have to say it and then you apologize later on. Then it's all smoothie-smoothie."

Daughter Cathy Newby of Elgin said her parents taught her that marriage is about not giving up.

"You roll with the punches. You don't give up," she said. "If you love someone, you keep going and do what it takes to solve problems. And always make sure you look for good times. Keep active and do what you want to do together."