Relationships work among the selfless

David Crary wrote an excellent article in the Oct. 23 edition about teen dating abuse. The survey results are not surprising. It is time to recognize that women are as abusive as men. Adults are no better than teens. American society has become extremely narcissistic and deteriorating to the level of animals. People lack desire and ability to work to understand the feelings, emotions and personalities of other people. Relationships have become battlegrounds over self-centered desires, and such relationships are doomed to fail. Too many kids are raised in single-family homes without good parent role models.

The electronics revolution has pushed people more into self-centered existences. I disagree with many things Rev. Sun Myung Moon says, but he did say one thing that was excellent. Each person in a marriage should live for the other person and put the needs and interests of the other person over their own. Love is about working to understand another person and striving to do whatever one can to make another person's life better for them without expectation of self-benefit.

I cringe when I hear someone use the term "soul mate." Every person I have heard use that term has ended up divorced. Usage of the term usually indicates a person who is a victim of delusional self-centered fantasy. A good relationship is not about magic. A good relationship is about strong dedication, hard work to understand another person, and sacrifice. Love is built through time; it does not magically happen.

Understanding of God is through understanding of other people. People simply do not get that. People have become babies who can only fight and run if they can't get what they want. Abuse of others is a function of dislike of oneself - that gives a lot to think about.

Rich Lorimer

Streamwood