Paternity kits a sad commentary

I stopped into a local drugstore recently to pick up a prescription. While waiting to be served, I happened to glance over at a nearby shelf. There prominently displayed were four neatly aligned maroon and white boxes of DNA paternity test kits under the brand name Identigene. Wow! Is that where we are now? Are the number of women sleeping around indiscriminately with men these days so extensive that we have created a new mass market product to help them identify who the father of their children are? They don’t even know?

And are the guys getting their jollies so indifferent to the children they produce that they have to be trapped into fulfilling their responsibilities by bed mates taking them to court with DNA proof of paternity? I guess so. The four boxes of evidence were staring me right in the face.

So if the stress of not knowing who’s fathered your child has you down, ladies, grab a box of this fine product and throw it into your shopping cart next to your milk and orange juice. And if the court doesn’t get you satisfaction with your paternity suit, you can always sign up for combat training in the Marines. Then after your tour come back with your newfound skills and box the culprit’s ears!

Congratulations ladies of NOW, you have achieved your goals for the women of America. Isn’t forced equality and equal opportunity in everything wonderful?

Len Meyer

Hoffman Estates