Tallon can keep shopping in Chicago

Most reasonable Blackhawks fans had only fantasized about the day the team would move Brian Campbell's contract.

But it was pure fantasy, because most reasonable Hawks fans also knew it was a million-to-one shot that anyone would take on that salary.

Fortunately, it only takes one. Thank you, Dale Tallon.

So down in the land of swamps, bridges and turnip trucks, can we interest you, perhaps, in Alfonso Soriano, Carlos Boozer or Adam Dunn?

Seriously, while Tallon is searching for Bobby Lang — and probably Nikolai Khabibulin and Cristobal Huet — to help him reach the cap floor, and before he overpays restricted free agent Andrew Ladd and the unrestricted Ben Eager, perhaps he can find space for Alex Rios.

The fact that he wanted Campbell at five more years of $7.1 million annually, and then gave Tomas Kopecky four years and $12 million, is all the proof you need that Tallon is as clueless as ever when it comes to understanding that side of the game.

He has a terrific eye for scouting, setting aside high picks like Cam Barker and Jack Skille, but cap floor or no cap floor, the rest is a mystery to him.

And, yes, the players love him and want to play for him. This is the answer you always get from the Tallon sycophants.

Of course they love him and want to play for him. He overpays them and coddles them. Why wouldn't they love him and want to play for him?

Most GMs missed the part in the manual where it says you should be friends with the players.

In any case, before Tallon gets his hands on Barker, Ladd, Eager, Martin Havlat, James Wisniewski, Adrian Aucoin, Radim Vrbata, Adam Burish, Brent Sopel, Jassen Cullimore and Jim Vandermeer, would he consider Carlos Zambrano or Jake Peavy?

Apparently, Stan Bowman, it never hurts to ask.

RFA madness

Talk in league circles is that Tallon is going after as many Hawks and ex-Hawks as he can collect though trades and free agency.

So can we expect Tallon to target Hawks restricted free agents like Chris Campoli and Michael Frolik?

Some people think the answer is, “Yes,'' which could make both of those players much more costly than the Hawks had hoped. (See: Niklas Hjalmarsson.)

So long Soupy

Brian Campbell always seemed like a good enough guy off the ice, was involved in lots of charity work, did all the public relations the Hawks asked him to do, and in the locker room he stood up after games and answered questions when others would hide.

And it's not his fault he was grossly overpaid.

But anyone who watched his last year in Buffalo and few months with San Jose knew exactly what the Hawks were getting, which was a guy who could skate the puck and that's about it.

That's about a $3 million defenseman, considering he couldn't play defense, turned it over too much, would rarely take a hit to possess the puck, wasn't physical and drove the coaching staff nuts when he passed up open shot after open shot.

He was a liability on the penalty kill and couldn't be trusted enough to have him on the ice in the last five minutes of a game.

That's a fifth defenseman, not a $7.1 million player, and because of that his monster cap hit was a terrible liability.

He dominated in two playoff games against Vancouver this year when he looked to be worth every bit of that $7.1 million, but you can count on one hand how many times he did that in three years here.

So save us the tears and the notion that the Hawks have lost a great player.

If Campbell is a great player, the standard for NHL defensemen has been lowered to the point where apparently playing defense — and knowing your goalie's name — isn't part of being a defenseman anymore.

Stepping in

A year ago, Niklas Hjalmarsson looked like he had the potential to do anything Campbell could do, and that's why the Hawks matched San Jose's offer sheet. If Doug Wilson's intent was to force the Hawks to overpay, it worked, and Hjalmarsson regressed, perhaps under the weight of a four-year, $14 million contract.

But he has the talent to be a top three or four, even though he didn't look like one last season. With Campbell gone, the ice time is there for him if the Hawks don't trade him this summer.

Between Hjalmarsson, Chris Campoli and Nick Leddy, someone's going to have to be that puck-moving guy.

The needs

More than anything else, the Hawks need a big, mean, physical defenseman, though a No. 2 center would bring necessary balance to the offense and allow Dave Bolland to settle in on the third line.

But throughout the roster, for the love of Curt Fraser and all that's holy, the Hawks need size, toughness and anger, and they can't go into next season without addressing that very serious problem.

Vancouver-ing

I appreciate the call for one more column about Canucks owners, players and fans, but what I've written before speaks adequately and I'm leaning toward letting them stew in their own bile — while cleaning up their riot-torn streets.

And finally …

Miami Herald's Greg Cote, on the Florida Panthers being rated last at 150-1 to win the Stanley Cup next season: “When our hockey team last made the playoffs, players were swinging oars instead of sticks because ice hadn't been invented yet.''

brozner@dailyherald.com

Ÿ Listen to Barry Rozner from 9 a.m. to noon Sundays on the Score's “Hit and Run” show at WSCR 670-AM.