Be aware of abuse among dating teens

February is National Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month, and while many teens will be enjoying the fun of Valentine’s Day, a others will experience the effects of an unhealthy relationship. One in three adolescent girls in the United States is a victim of physical, emotional or verbal abuse by her dating partner. In addition, teens who are physically abused are more likely to smoke, use drugs, have eating disorders, engage in risky sexual behaviors and attempt or consider suicide.

As advocates for victims of domestic violence, we see the impact of unhealthy relationships in teens and their families. One mother shared that she found a note in her daughter’s jeans written by her daughter’s boyfriend that dictated “rules for dating”: 1) only wear the pink low-cut sweater when you’re with me, 2) be available to receive all text messages and phone calls, 3) I will read all the texts on your phone (don’t delete), 4) No hanging out with Cathy because she is “boy crazy” and 5) quit the band so we can spend more time together. The bottom of the list concluded with the statement; “These rules show how much we love each other and are committed to each other, I love you.” The mother said that over time her daughter became more and more withdrawn from family, friends and activities.

Please take the time to become aware of what dating violence and unhealthy relationships are and find ways to communicate this with both your daughters and sons. Parents may also need support on how to intervene once an unhealthy relationship has been identified. Check out these helpful websites: loveisrespect.org and endabuse.org/section/programs/teens. In addition, Advocate Good Samaritan Hospital is offering a support group for those struggling with this issue. Call (630) 275-6171 for details.

Sarah L. Katula, APN, Ph.D.

Advocate Good Samaritan Hospital

Downers Grove