Grammar Moses: Don't get overly possessive during the holidays

Now that you've had a couple of days to digest your Thanksgiving dinner, here is something else to digest: how to address a greeting card properly.

This isn't about etiquette but rather punctuation.

If you've read this column for a while, you might remember my bringing up the subject just before Thanksgiving two years ago. I apologize if you've lost your taste for leftovers, but if last year's batch of Christmas cards delivered to Casa de Baumann is any indication, this subject bears repeating.

Christmas, Hanukkah and Kwanzaa are coming up, and you might be inclined to send greeting cards. If you're like many of the people who send them to me, you've already dressed the little ones in red velvet and tinsel for the portrait that will be turned into a photo card.

Before you send it to the printer or fill out that first envelope, a word of caution: Unless you're Irish or French, chances are you don't have an apostrophe in your surname.

If you're addressing a card to Reggie and Gertrude Jones and the nine children in their blended family but don't want to name them all, don't write The Jones' family, The Jones' or The Joneses'.

Or The O'Toole's', for that matter.

An apostrophe implies possession. What you're aiming for is a simple plural.

Address it to either to The Jones family or The Joneses.

But you shouldn't always try to keep up with the Joneses.

To make a name plural, simply add an -es to the name if it ends with an S, an X or a Z.

Or if it ends with a ch or sh sound.

Otherwise, simply add an -s.

Tactful letter

Ruth Reynolds mailed me a note - written in cursive on pretty stationery, no less - to point out an error we made in a photo caption. It read the Golden State Warriors were "likely to stay in pretty much tact for a while."

We've all heard someone say something like "That's fan-flippin'-tastic!" to amplify a word. "In pretty much tact" is the same type of construction, but it clearly betrays a lack of understanding that "intact" is one word. If we want to modify "intact," we should put "pretty much" before it and not try to shoehorn it into the word.

Slow!

Ed Evenson sent me a photo of a common yellow street sign you normally find under speed limit signs for 20 or 25 mph.

SLOW CHILDREN AT PLAY.

"I'm sure the sign's designer assumed that 'slow' was an adverb in the implied message being made," he wrote. "Only the comic would see it as an adjective in this case."

You got me, Ed. All I see is the adjective when I look at this sign.

Need a translation?

The sign suggests drivers slow down or drive slow(ly) in the presence of children.

But what I envision is children creeping around in no particular hurry. If that's the case, steering clear of them should be easy.

But every such sign - and there are slight variations - shows very athletic kids, some with winter caps, almost always with knee socks, arms pumping, leaning into the wind in what I assume is great haste.

How ironic, I think, as I blast past the elementary school at 45 mph.

Yes, I was joking.

Write (and drive) carefully!

• Jim Baumann is vice president/managing editor of the Daily Herald. Write him at jbaumann@dailyherald.com. Put Grammar Moses in the subject line. You also can friend or follow Jim at facebook.com/baumannjim.