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Grammar Moses: Is it plural, possessive or what?

Have you ever corrected someone mid-conversation because what he said just didn't sound right?

What I'm talking about is words that sound like plurals and possessives but shouldn't be and vice versa.

In the crow-eating aftermath of misdirected corrections, it's always a good idea to jump online or pull out a book and do some research so you know what you're talking about next time.

I was chatting with Rick Barlow of Schaumburg about last Sunday's column that examined whether to apostrophize Garys Mill Road.

“I then thought of the oddity known as Ruth's Chris Steak House and the growing number of sports teams that use a single term for a collective,” Rick said.

We'll start with Ruth's Chris.

As a born-again carnivore, I love this place. But I admit I was confused by the apostrophe and “s.”

While you're waiting for your cocktail, read your menu for a thorough explanation of the unusual origin of the restaurant's name.

A woman named Ruth Fertel bought a small, established restaurant in New Orleans named Chris Steak House. A fire forced her to relocate, and she renamed the restaurant Ruth's Chris Steak House.

That's it. I don't know that I'd want to discard the restaurant's old customer base, although the company decades later seems to have done just fine.

Then there is Johns Hopkins University. The story behind this name is similar to the Ruth's Chris story. In a way, a guy named Johns bought a hospital. So where's the apostrophe?

Johns Hopkins is the name of the philanthropist who bequeathed $7 million to finance a hospital.

He was named after his great-grandmother Margaret Johns, who wed Gerard Hopkins.

Don't ask me whether he should have used a hyphen.

Now for the Stanford Cardinal.

Sure, there are collective noun team names galore in the world of soccer — the Fire, the Sting, the Galaxy, the Impact — but a noun describing a singular thing seems weird to me. Stanford's Cardinal is probably what caused me to attend the University of Illinois and not Stanford. Well, that and the rejection letter.

Close, but no cigar

Margaret Brod of Mount Prospect spent a lot of time watching TV during a recent hospital stay and saw a sign on several Chicago news programs that made her even more uncomfortable — albeit less bored.

“A barbecue place on the South Side of Chicago was closed because of health code violations,” she wrote. “Their sign read ‘TEMPORALITY CLOSED.' I thought, what a creative use of the English language. I looked it up and it's a real word.”

But Margaret and I can agree it's not the correct word.

“Temporality” is a noun defined as the state of existing within or having some relationship with time.

The sign should have read “temporarily,” an adverb that describes something as existing for a limited time.

Cheddar costs extra

Beth Jordan-Kroll of Lake Zurich was reading the menu at a new breakfast place and was perplexed by two things.

That's interesting, because my only thought while perusing breakfast menus is how many species one can cram into a lumberjack omelet.

“I was hoping I would receive several dollar bills tucked in the cheese when I ordered the Farmers Skillet,” she wrote.

Given that Franciscan friars, who developed Monterey Jack cheese a few hundred years ago in California, took vows of poverty, they might not have appreciated a restaurant misspelling their creation as “monetary” jack.

Beth also wonders whether it is appropriate to call it a farmers, farmer's or farmers' skillet.

One does not add an apostrophe to a word ending in “s” when it is used primarily in a descriptive sense. I got that from one of my writers (see?) guides. So, it would be a farmers market, a teachers college and a citizens band radio.

But when you have a plural word that does not end in an “s,” you should insert an apostrophe. Think children's hospital.

Back to the monetary jack cheese issue. Beth's reaction was how much money she'd get back. My mind goes to how much extra it would cost to order monetary jack. And how expensive a sandwich would be if it were composed of clams, bacon, cheddar, cabbage and, of course, bread.

Write carefully!

• Jim Baumann is vice president/managing editor of the Daily Herald. Write him at jbaumann@dailyherald.com. Put Grammar Moses in the subject line. You also can friend or follow Jim at facebook.com/baumannjim.

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