Constable: This 'empty-nester' more of a 'nest 40-percent full' guy

Now that all three of our sons are in college, people ask how my wife and I are doing as "empty-nesters." That moniker doesn't seem right. Our nest isn't empty. My wife is home. I'm home.

According to my math, our nest is 40 percent full. Maybe I'm just a "nest 40-percent full" guy, instead of a "nest 60-percent empty" kind of guy. The typical U.S. household is home to fewer than three people. My wife and I are fewer than three people. So our situation is pretty typical.

When my wife and I got married, we lived perfectly happily for seven years before we had children, and I don't recall friends ever asking us how we were enjoying "life as empty-nesters." Yes, we went out to eat some nights, went to movies some nights, slept in on some weekends and took some awesome vacations. But we also did laundry some nights, cleaned the apartment, went to work, shopped for groceries and paid bills.

During our second go-round as a two-person household, we went to see a movie on a Thursday night and had popcorn for dinner. We could have done that when we had three boys at home, but we never did. We also continue to do laundry, just not as much of it.

I suppose we could do even less laundry if we listened to the people who tell us that we, as "empty-nesters," now are free to walk around naked in our house all day. We didn't do that before we had kids. Oh, I opened the front door in my skivvies some Sundays to grab the Sunday newspapers if no neighbor was walking his dog in front of our house, and I have done that from time to time after we had kids, but I don't consider that much of a thrill. I'm assuming the neighbors feel likewise.

When we were empty-nesters before we had kids or a mortgage, we had more nights out and a few exotic trips. Now we live more frugally because we are borrowing money to send three kids to college.

Our older sons, Ben and Ross, are seniors now, so we've had time to adjust to them being gone. It seems unusual not to have Will, our youngest, at home. I miss his daily text asking, "What's for dinner?" He's vegan, meaning no animal products, including dairy, eggs and honey, so we supported his choice by making vegan meals. With him at college, we try to eat healthy and be good stewards of the earth, but we did have cheeseburgers the night after we dropped him off. So there's that.

We both got a little teary-eyed (me more than her) sending our youngest off to school, as we did with the older two. We miss going to his soccer games and band concerts. But we still break into grateful smiles whenever we pass parents trying to find a parking spot near the high school, or carrying their umbrellas to some muddy field.

Our older boys are home for a few days between summer internships and heading off for their senior years. It's nice to have them home, but they don't have a problem leaving the nest. They say that the magnitude of leaving the only home they knew for out-of-state schools where they didn't have a built-in support system was not as jarring as people might think. They made adjustments and continued on what seemed part of a normal progression into adulthood. It didn't dawn on me until years later that I regarded my first day of college as just the next step after high school, while my parents knew I was "leaving the nest," even when I did visit home for winter breaks or some summers.

Merely using the word "visit" to describe our sons returning home signals a new era for my wife and me. But the daily difference we see as parents with kids in college is that we no longer wait up for them to come home, don't expect them to let us know where they are going, or don't worry about them needing the car. That isn't to say that we no longer worry about our college men.

I used to talk parenting with my column buddy Jack Mabley and his charming wife, Fran. I remember someone asking Fran in her 80s how she was doing, and she replied, "I'm as happy as my least-happy child." That sounds a tad depressing, but it's true.

So right now, my wife and are happy to be feeling pretty happy these days. Our nest isn't empty, just different.