Grammar Moses: I wish I may, I wish I might ... finish this column tonight

Tom Peterson of Elgin, who spent his career writing news copy for TV and radio, asked me for the proper usage of "farther" and "further" and "might" and "may."

As Bill Clinton might have said, it depends upon what your definition of "proper" is. The critics will screech that I'm diving into the muck of prescriptivism here, but so be it.

I'll start with the easy answer first.

Both "farther" and "further" are extensions of "far." They both connote a distance.

But "farther" is literal, while "further" is figurative.

Denver is farther away than North Platte, Nebraska. Though, from my experience, nothing seems farther away than North Platte, Have you driven across Nebraska?

Use "further" when you want to describe a degree or extent.

"Bother me no further with your insipid remarks."

"Look no further than a man's face to know what's in his heart."

You wouldn't calculate the inches between a man's face and his heart, unless perhaps you were a thoracic surgeon or an anthropologist.

Geesh. And that was the easy answer.

Now for "might" and "may."

While further/farther was a literal/figurative issue, "might" and "may" fall on a continuum of possibility.

"May" conveys likelihood, while "might" casts doubt.

"I may go to the bar with you after quitting time, sexy co-worker."

"I might go with you to your brother-in-law's sister's house in Indiana for the Super Bowl, but I do have a new big screen I'm trying to break in."

I could spend entire columns on examples, but now that you know the general feel of each you should be able to apply them correctly.

Because I've heard so few people speak or write as if they know the difference, I've nearly given up worrying about it.

In another sense, "may" conveys permission. And if you are able to get past the "Can I go to the store?" abomination and realize that "can" expresses ability and "may" expresses permission, you're all right by me and probably would survive a cocktail party without embarrassing yourself.

Spot the redundancy

What follows is a photo caption we ran recently. I don't mean to be unkind, but it could have been shorter. Can you find the redundancy?

James Shields gave up the first career home runs to three different players, and manager Rick Renteria and third baseman Todd Frazier were both ejected Saturday in the Chicago White Sox's 10-2 loss to the Oakland A's.

That was a trick question. I found two cases of redundancy.

• Three different players: "Different" is superfluous. Because there were three of them, they were distinct from one another.

• Rick Renteria and Todd Frazier were both ejected: In this case "both" is redundant, really for the same reason. If you say this guy was ejected and this guy was ejected, then both naturally were.

Stand in line

"When I lived in New Jersey growing up, if I was waiting I always said that I was 'on line,' wrote Andy Turner. "Now living in Libertyville, someone told me the correct expression is 'in line' and that 'on line' has a different meaning in today's world. Am I wrong to say that I am waiting on line?"

That's a regionalism, Andy. As with many expressions, it all depends on where you live.

In the Midwest, generally speaking, we say "in line."

Now if you're Googling showtimes with your Samsung Galaxy 13 outside the theater, you're both online and in line.

Write carefully!

• Jim Baumann is vice president/managing editor of the Daily Herald. Write him at jbau-mann@dailyherald.com. Put Grammar Moses in the subject line. You also can friend or follow Jim at facebook.com/baumannjim.