Grammar Moses: Are you and your spouse close enough to take a singular verb?

An anonymous reader from downstate Marion had a seemingly simple pair of questions:

"Would you say, 'The couple has - or have - three children?' And 'The couple has - or have - one child"?

Once I started thinking about it, they weren't simple at all.

I wrote in one of my first columns in 2015 that for the vast majority of my 33-year journalism career I subscribed to the notion that a "couple" - as in a married couple or two people in a committed relationship - is a collective noun that always should take a singular verb.

But since a couple is two people with two minds - but perhaps one heart - they often feel or do things individually.

Would you say, "The couple has ordered steak and fish for dinner"?

No. Unless, they're both gluttons, one ordered steak and the other ordered fish. Within their unit they are acting as two individuals and require a plural verb.

You'd say, "The couple have ordered steak and fish for dinner."

Back to the original questions about parents and kids. And my suggestions here are a matter of significant debate in the newsroom and elsewhere (so don't bet on me in Vegas.)

If the couple produced or adopted the children jointly, I'd treat the couple as a singular: "The couple has three children."

If you're talking about two established but distinct families, I would treat the "couple" as individuals: "The couple have six children."

That is, unless you are Mike and Carol Brady and lead an idyllic life with your blended family of six kids (and full-time maid.)

My most trusted colleague disagrees with me on this point, saying a couple is defined as two people and uses a plural verb. It's only when a couple is used in conjunction with another couple - this couple is boring, while that couple is the life of the party - that it takes a singular verb.

That's how The Associated Press Stylebook, with some interpretation, sees it.

I side with grammarian Bryan A. Garner on this one. He says when two people form a couple they can act as individuals (taking a plural verb) or as an entity (taking a singular verb).

I think his position makes more sense, and that is the basis for my answers to the mystery reader's questions.

Now, for the second issue: "The couple has - or have - one child."

It doesn't matter how many kids you're talking about. What matters is the kid(s)' relationship to the parents.

If you're the kind of dad who says to the fellas, "Oh, no, that slob with the ponytail and Slayer T-shirt is my wife's kid," then you are squarely in the "The couple have one child" camp.

And you're not getting a Father's Day card.

Whaala!

Kim Young of Vernon Hills - the reader who originally asked me the couple question in 2015 - sent me a pet peeve.

This illustrates why everyone who mass produces something with writing on it should consult an editor or someone who knows things about words.

"A local real estate agent put a flier with a packet of hot chocolate in neighborhood mailboxes (for St. Patrick's Day.) Clever and creative, right? But then it ends it with "Throw in a little mint syrup and Whaala!"

I've seen this with my own eyes. Clearly, the agent spelled voila phonetically.

I can tell you from years of experience that if we spell something incorrectly in the newspaper some readers assume we are sloppy with our reporting, too.

I suspect promotional items don't get the same discerning eye - and, hey, you're getting a free packet of hot chocolate.

But if you're using French words and you don't know how to speak or write French, it's important to ask someone who does. Or at least consult the Google machine.

N'est-ce pas?

Write carefully!

• Jim Baumann is vice president/managing editor of the Daily Herald. Write him at jbaumann@dailyherald.com. Put Grammar Moses in the subject line. You also can friend or follow Jim at facebook.com/baumannjim.