You can manage stress: 7 tips to show you how

If you interact with people on a daily basis, you're going to run into someone who is stressed. Stress related to the economy, terrorism and mass shootings and/or gun violence were the most commonly reported factors that added to people's increased stress levels in the last 10 years, according to an August American Psychological Association survey. Add in the constant pressures of work, keeping up with social media and technology, and everything else women have on their plate, it's no wonder that Americans continue to report increased stress levels.

Even though stress tends to get a negative connotation, not all stress is bad, said Dr. Konstantinos Kostas, director of health psychology services at AMITA Alexian Brothers Neurosciences Institute. The first step toward managing the stress in your life is to know the difference between good stress (eustress) and bad stress (distress).

“Eustress is that excitement that we're surprised or when something really good happens to us,” said Kostas. “Then there's the bad stress, which gets most of the publicity, which is distress and that's the type of stress that we want to try to minimize in our lives.”

Kostas said humans have a hard-wired response to stress or perceived threats in their environments. This is often referred to as the fight-or-flight response that's activated when a human confronts a perceived threat and must then decide to stay and fight or run and flee. This response was vital to humans thousands of years ago when they were constantly encountering life or death situations (think run-ins with saber-toothed tigers). While being perceptive of threats is still important to our safety, the threats most of us face now aren't life-threatening, but more along the lines of being late for a meeting or not checking off to-do lists that are probably too long to begin with. The problem is that our brains and bodies don't know the difference between the threat of the saber-toothed tiger and running late to work. It's up to humans to develop ways to manage the fight or flight response so that it helps us when necessary, but it's not kicked into high gear every time we're stuck in traffic or miss a deadline.

“Increased stress levels can lead to increased anxiety and depression. People tend to sleep poorly and don't get as much restorative sleep,” said Dr. Ishvari Panarker, family medicine physician at AMITA Health in Palatine.

1.) Check in with yourself

Kostas said one of the simplest things you can do to manage stress is check in with yourself when you're confronted with a stressor. Ask yourself if what you perceive as a threat is really a threat and if you're viewing the situation accurately. “Over time, if you really do begin to change your perception of stressors threats or in the environment you're going to be a calmer and have more quality of life,” said Kostas.

2.) Practice self-care

The better you take care of yourself the better equipped you'll be to spot a misperceived stressor and change how you interact with it. “People who exercise on a regular basis, who get at least 6½ to eight hours of sleep a night, who practice some form of relaxation therapy, and have good nutritional status can offset the misperception that occurs when people experience distress,” said Kostas.

3.) Diaphragmatic breathing

“The simplest way for any of us to deal with stress in the moment is diaphragmatic breathing,” said Kostas. One form of diaphragmatic breathing consists of taking three long breaths in and out through the nose, taking twice as long to breathe out as breathe in. The simple act of mindfully breathing signals to the body that now is a time for relaxation. So the next time you're rushing to complete all the assignments on your desk, take three slow deliberate breathes to relax yourself before you dive in.

4.) Develop a relaxation practice

There are many tried-and-true relaxation practices that help calm the mind. Yoga, meditation or progressive muscle relaxation are practices women can engage in. “Those forms of relaxation are very different physiologically than watching TV or grabbing a beer,” said Kostas. “They can lead to the relaxation response that is mediated by the parasympathetic nervous system and stimulation of the anterior hypothalamus and that is unlikely replicated by other typical relaxing activities.” People who practice these relaxation techniques on a regular basis don't perceive as many stressors on a daily basis than those who do not.

5.) Cognitive behavioral psychotherapy

Kostas said those who are chronically stressed might benefit from this type of therapy. “By giving people the opportunity to really think about ways they can approach situations that might be stressful or might not be stressful, cognitive behavioral therapy can help them do that,” said Kostas.

6.) Be gentle with yourself

In today's society, most people regardless of age are constantly trying to succeed and better themselves almost to a fault. “We just don't step back and recognize that what's really important in life is, yes, unique to each of us, but enjoying the time that we have on this earth,” said Kostas. “Unless we can really do that and we make the choice to do that, then we're not going to really conquer the stress that has become an epidemic in our country.”

7.) Develop a support system

Create a network of family and friends that you know you can rely on in difficult times. “People who perceive that they have support around them actually do much better with stress than those who feel isolated or alone,” said Kostas.