'Only Living Boy' a pretentious, emotionally barren coming-of-age drama
If you can't tell that men wrote and directed the pretentiously literary, emotionally barren, coming-of-age drama "The Only Living Boy in New York," here are some clues:
The three main male characters possess story arcs, depth and conflicted feelings.
The three main female characters barely warrant one-sentence character descriptions.
If Richard Gere and Eddie Redmayne had their molecules mixed together in a transporter room accident, you'd get charismatic, British model/actor Callum Turner.
He plays Thomas Webb, an affluent Manhattanite with a disaffected girlfriend Mimi (Kiersey Clemons), a pill-popping failed artist mom Judith (Cynthia Nixon) and an aloof, judgmental publisher dad Ethan (an unwaveringly stern Pierce Brosnan).
Thomas, a recent college graduate who dreams of being a writer, often utters cultural pronouncements such as "New York has lost its soul!"
One day he discovers Dad has been seeing a much younger mistress, a British freelance editor named Johanna (Kate Beckinsale).
He confronts Johanna with demands she desist the tryst, then takes her to bed, just as Johanna predicted he would.
Meanwhile, Thomas receives love life lessons from a mysterious neighbor, a scraggly, whiskey-sipping Bohemian writer named W.F. Gerald (Jeff Bridges) who incessantly narrates the movie, dishing on characters' backgrounds and motivations.
"Life is random as it is deliberate! Funny as it is tragic!" the sagely Gerald observes, pontificating on the obvious,
Allan Loeb's eye-rolling, turgid screenplay contains a clever twist that provides a narrative purpose for Gerald's excessive voice-over contributions. But not even Bridges' impressive ability to process cornball dialogue into seductive aural text compensates for Marc Webb's arid direction.
Webb gave us the serviceable "The Amazing Spider-Man," but his breezy rom-com "500 Days of Summer" still ranks as his best work.
Yet, none of that film's engaging quirkiness translates into "The Only Living Boy in New York," the latest movie to tap a Simon and Garfunkel song for its title. ("Baby Driver" also did it.)
Webb's film references a more famous Simon and Garfunkel project, "The Graduate," by having Thomas and Johanna replicate an iconic shot of Dustin Hoffman and Anne Bancroft in bed during the 1967 classic. The comparison doesn't favor this film.
Nixon's Judith struggles to make moldy old bromides such as "The only way out is through!" sound fresh.
Clemons' Mimi spends most of the film sitting on a shelf. Beckinsale's Johanna offers her father's suicide as an all-purpose explanation for her amoral behavior and indecisiveness.
If New York has indeed lost its soul, apparently so have movies about New York.
“The Only Living Boy in New York”
★ ½
Starring: Callum Turner, Jeff Bridges, Pierce Brosnan, Kate Beckinsale, Cynthia Nixon
Directed by: Marc Webb
Other: A Roadside Attractions release. Rated R for drug content and language. 88 minutes