Daily challenges test personal values

You can tell a lot about people's values from how they respond to everyday situations.

Take road construction, for example. There's a stretch of road on my way to work that goes from two lanes to one. Plenty of warning is provided: "RIGHT LANE CLOSED AHEAD" and "MERGE LEFT" signs, orange cones, blinking lights, etc.

Drivers seem to respond to this in one of four ways.

The most obvious in their response are the people who stay in the right lane, even speed up, race to the front of the line of cars on the left, and force their way in. It is like they are proclaiming: "the rules don't apply to me," or "I've got a right to get away with whatever I can." They often have this hard look on their faces; an "If you don't like it, do something about it" look.

A second group immediately gets into the left lane as soon as they see the warnings. They slow down and even allow some space for other people to get in front of them. Their actions say something like: "If we all cooperate here things will go fine. Let's just all relax; this is no big deal." Their faces usually have a more relaxed, peaceful expression; they even smile and wave people over.

Those in the third group probably don't move over quite so quickly, but they do get to the left in plenty of time. We can spot them because they are constantly looking to their right at the folks from group one and muttering or cursing. I've even seen some of these folks straddle both lanes and try to prevent anyone passing on the right. They aren't big on letting people in line in front of them, either. It's like they are saying "Hey! Rules are rules! Everybody merge left! If I'm going to be stuck over here, you are too!" Their faces are filled with frustration.

A final group of drivers merge left only when it looks like most people are doing so. But they also furtively watch for anyone to pass them back on the right. If enough people do, they cut back into the right lane, speed ahead, and then try to nudge their way back into the line of traffic in the left lane. I've seen some folks do this two or three times in the space of a few minutes. Their underlying values seem to be something like: "I'll do what most people do."

Our groups are: 1) get away with anything you can; 2) let's all cooperate and help each other; 3) there are rules we all have to follow and enforce; and 4) whatever most people do.

(There might be a fifth group of people who just aren't paying attention, but we probably all fall into that group at one time or the other.)

So which group are we in? Does our behavior depend more on our emotion of the moment than our values? Do we behave differently under stress? What happens when someone is riding in the car with us? Which group do we want to be in?

Think about it. And next time you are stuck in a road construction backup (which, around here, won't be long), consider acting on the values you'd most like to claim.

• Dr. Ken Potts is on the staff of Samaritan Counseling Center in Naperville and Downers Grove. He is the author of "Mix Don't Blend, A Guide to Dating, Engagement and Remarriage With Children."