Why does New Yorker care about Midwest?
Who is this Kirsten Gillibrand, and why is she stalking me? She's been peppering my email box with political surveys. It seems that she's an upstate (Albany) New Yorker who serves as junior to Chuck Schumer, Democrat U.S. senator.
New York's last junior-to-Schumer senator was one HR Clinton, KG's predecessor. Is KG an HRC wannabe. Is she running for president? Is that the reason she's polling me way out here in the rustic wilds of the Midwest?
Why should some upstate New Yorker care about what some prairie state bumpkin thinks. Are opinions hard to come by in New York? Does she want to plumb the shallow depths of one of Hilary's despicables (like Despicable Me)? Is this some sort of reconnaissance for a presidential run? At least, compared to HRC, KG's a legit New Yorker. She didn't arrive via the llinois-Arkansas-DC express surfing the contrails of her husband's political success. Kirsten plowed her own furrow.
Anyway, she's been sending me these (one-question-at-a-time) political surveys asking my opinion on a range of issues. They're all "Yes/No" questions where I either agree or disagree with Donald Trump. There's always some narrative about how Trump is a big ratfink (consult your dictionaries of Fifties slang) and about how KG hates ratfinks.
The Yes/No questions are truly thought provoking and cerebrum stirring. Like: Donald Trump wants to enslave women and slaughter baby seals; wants us to eat sewage and curse our mothers; is a vampire who will suck our children's blood; is a bestial necrophile.
I'm asked whether I stand with such a debauched, necrophiliac, bloodthirsty vampire like Trump or with KG and the forces of good and decency. Kristen, though, is somewhat decency-challenged herself, throwing f-bombs around at public appearances. Maybe she's also a Madonna wannabe.
Les Lopinot
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