You CAN get there from here

"You can't get there from here."

Stopped at a gas station for directions, I felt my ire rising at the clerk's one line dismissal of my request.

You see, one of my kids was competing in a sports event and I was going to get there, even from "here."

Perhaps sensing my determination, or maybe just to get rid of me out, he called to another clerk. And, repeating my request, I did, in fact, find out that you could get there from here, although by taking a rather circuitous route.

Often life's first response to our needs, wants, goals, or dreams sounds something like "you can't get there from here."

We need a new car (or at least a better used one). But where is the money supposed to come from?

We'd really want to take better care of ourselves. But eating right, sleeping enough, exercising regularly, and all that is so hard to do (and not much fun even if you do it).

Our goal is to go back to school and finish up that degree we started so long ago. But we've got a job, a husband, kids, a house, and no time.

We dream of opening our own business, taking orders from nobody but ourselves. But what we would we do and where would we get the capital and what if we failed?

One of the irritating paradoxes of life seems to be that most things worth doing are hard to do. Occasionally some need, want, goal, or dream will fall into place with only the slightest of nudges, but that sure doesn't happen very often. Usually, there seems to be a direct correlation between value and effort: the more value it has, the more effort it takes.

A recent study of successful people determined that one characteristic seemed to set them apart from their contemporaries. It wasn't intelligence, or talent, or training, or experience (though certainly all these were important). It was simple determination - a stubborn commitment to achieving what they set out to do.

And though such successful people sometimes failed, even abandoned a particular want or dream, they never gave up there "I will get there from here" attitude. So where do you want to go?

• Dr. Ken Potts is on the staff of Samaritan Counseling Center in Naperville and Downers Grove. He is the author of "Mix Don't Blend, A Guide to Dating, Engagement and Remarriage With Children."